Gospel Story Finder

When I was learning to drive, my dad wanted to teach me how to jump-start a car. With jumper cables in hand, he opened the hood of our car and told me where the cables go on the engine.
“Yeah, I already know how to do it, Dad!” I said, even though I really didn’t.
A short time later, my friend’s car battery died. He asked if I could give his car a jump. I grabbed the jumper cables from my trunk, looked at my friend’s car, and just stood there. I had no clue how to jump start a car. At that moment, I wished I had been humble enough to listen to my dad.

When Heber J. Grant was 10 years old, he took a singing class.
Teacher: You can’t carry a tune, Heber. You’ll never learn how to sing.
Years later Heber heard Horace S. Ensign sing.
Heber: I would give you three months of my spare time if I could learn to sing one or two hymns!
Horace: Anyone can learn to sing. Are you willing to practice?
After two weeks, Heber had learned to sing “O My Father.” Two months later he could sing four other hymns.

If we applied that advice in today’s social climate, would it work? Imagine using it on a personal interactive basis. Let’s say I boarded a plane, sat next to a fellow traveler, and declared: “Hi, I’m Scott Swofford. What do you know about me? Would you like to know more?” I am pretty sure a call button would be pressed and I would be relocated, if not removed from the plane.

The most authentic way to enter a gospel discussion is to first seek to understand. I have experimented with the following approach when seated on a plane: “Good morning. I like those shoes.” The dialogue is now underway on a positive note.

Eventually it gets us to “Is this flight outbound or returning home for you?”

Inevitably they will ask me where home is, and I am lucky in that admitting I’m from Utah is like setting a timer on a predictable response. Three, two, one: “Are you Mormon?”

Now, I could launch into my memorized first discussion, but it is in Japanese, so instead I usually reply, “Yes. And you?” I then pay genuine attention to a lot of information about this new friend—their thoughts on faith, their struggles, and their current frame of mind. Then I am ready for the Spirit to direct the next move.

I have known persons who began their academic studies with great momentum, but as time went by did not continue to invest the time they needed in their studies because they supposed they had developed such great faith that if they simply did their church work the Lord would bless them to achieve their academic objectives. In this way the supposed strength of their faith became the cause of their academic downfall. We might say to them as the Lord said to Oliver Cowdery when he failed in his efforts to translate:

Behold, it is because that you did not continue as you commenced. . . .
. . . You have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.
But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right. [D&C 9:5, 7–8]

Here the Lord counsels us on balance. Faith is vital, but it must be accompanied by the personal work appropriate to the task. Only then do we qualify for the blessing. The appropriate approach for students is to study as if everything depended upon them and then to pray and exercise faith as if everything depended upon the Lord.

Elder Dean L. Larsen formerly one of the Seven Presidents of the Seventy and my mission president from many years ago taught this in General Conference, "Not long ago I interviewed a young man who desired to fill a mission, but he had been guilty of some very serious transgressions during his teen years. He was a member of an active Latter-day Saint family, and he himself had been an actively participating member of the Church, even during the time of his transgressions. Ultimately he had gone to his bishop and confessed his wrongdoings. Now, for more than a year, his life had been free of the earlier difficulties, and he was anxious to serve a mission.

"As we talked about his situation and the decisions he had made earlier in his life that led to his questionable standing in the Church, he said, Oh, I knew that what I was doing was wrong, and I was sure that one day I would put things back in order and go on a mission.

"While I was pleased with this young man's desire to reorder his life and serve the Lord as a missionary, I was troubled by the apparent premeditated, calculated way in which he had allowed himself to move off the proper course to engage in some destructive, immoral behavior, and then, almost as if he were following a timetable set by himself, he had begun to reconstruct his resolve to be obedient.

"If my experience with this young man had been an isolated one, it would not be worthy of note here; unfortunately, however, it is not unique. There appears to be an increasing tendency and temptation for young people to sample the forbidden things of the world, not with the intent to embrace them permanently, but with the knowing decision to indulge in them momentarily as though they held a value of some kind too important or exciting to pass by. It is one of the great tests of our time.

"While many recover from these excursions into forbidden territory, an increasing number of tragedies are occurring that reach out to bring a blight and a despair to many lives and that have long-lasting consequences. There is no such thing as private sin. Although its commission can be calculated, its effects cannot be regulated by the person guilty of the misbehavior. To believe otherwise is to become gullible to one of the most insidious lies ever perpetrated by the father of lies."

I made my way to Church College of Hawaii, a university owned and operated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Now known as Brigham Young University–Hawaii Campus, CCH is where I found my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and made the pivotal decision to become a member of His church.
CCH is also where my typing skills helped me to earn a bachelor of science degree in business education, with a minor in secretarial sciences. I also picked up a teaching certificate, and for my first job after university, I became the typing teacher.
I taught typing and various business-related subjects at the Church-owned high school in Pesega, Samoa, and then at Kahuku High when I returned to Hawaii a few years later.

When it was time for them to leave, Brigham was so sick he couldn’t stand up. His wife, with a newborn child, was also sick, as were his children. Determined to fulfill his promise to the Lord and go on a mission, Brigham crawled out of the house and staggered to a wagon. After a painful ride to the river’s edge, and then across the river, he lay on the ground for a long time. A horseman came along and gave him a ride to the Kimball home where he found Heber also sick. The two men lay bed-ridden for a week or two, but finally determined that they had to be about the Lord’s business. They got up, arranged for a wagon to take them out of town, and said good bye to their wives (Mary Ann had come across the river to help nurse Brigham). Weakened by their illness, the two men climbed into the wagon and lay down. Brother Kimball said to Brigham, “Let’s not leave them this way.” They staggered to their feet, waved their hats and shouted, “Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah for Zion!” and collapsed to the floor of the wagon.

Enter Mary Mormon and Norman Nonmormon.

1. It’s a Wednesday evening. For three days it has been raining. I am getting tired of the gray, overcast skies. The telephone rings. “Hi! This is Norman Nonmormon. Would you be interested in a movie with me Friday night?” I say:
A. “I’m sorry, Norman. I’d like to, but I think I’d better stick to dating fellows who are members of the same church that I am. It’s really the best way to have no hurt feelings later on. Thanks, anyway. It’s sweet of you to ask.” (go to 20)
B. “Hey, that sounds fun. What time will we go?” (go to 5)
C. “I’m sorry, Norman, but I promised to tend my little brothers and sisters that night.” (go to 4)

3. from 5, 10, 18
The water skiing is great. The water is warm and calm. Norman is fun. I think he sort of likes me. He puts his arms around me and gives me a little squeeze. I react:
A. “No, Norman. Let’s just have a nice time.” (go to 11)
B. I move away from him and say nothing. (go to 8)
C. I like it and show him by cooperating and smiling. He has such nice eyes. (go to 6)

4. from 1, 5
Norman is an honest fellow and trusts that I am honest too, being a Mormon and all. Why do I think I have to lie? He thought my excuse was genuine, so he asked for another date. If I don’t want to go out, I can just politely say no. My choice now is:
A. “Okay. What shall I wear?” (go to 5)
B. Oh, oh, he’s trying again. I’d better get to the point this time. “No, I have made it a policy not to date fellows who are not of my religion. It’s really the best way to have no hurt feelings later on. I do think you are a fine person though, Norman. Say, maybe you’d like to meet some of us—we’re really a neat group.” (go to 19)
C. It will hurt his feelings if I tell him the real reason for not dating him. Better think of an excuse: “No, I’m sorry, Norman, but I have to milk the cows that night.” (go to 7)

5. from 1, 4, 7, 10, 18, 19, 20
Norman is fun. He has a good sense of humor, is outgoing, and I feel at ease with him. We both like music, water skiing, and the same foods. I think he enjoyed the date too, because he wants to take me water skiing next weekend. I say:
A. “No, thank you. We have had a good time, but I think it would be better if we didn’t go out anymore.” (go to 10)
B. “Yes. That would be great fun.” (go to 3)
C. “Sorry, Norman, but I have to go shopping with my mother.” (go to 4)

6. from 3, 8, 11
After we finish skiing, we dock and lock the boat. Norman opens the car door for me and I slide in. He is polite, and I’d like him to know that I appreciate his courtesy, so I:
A. Slide over near him. (go to 13)
B. Stay on my side and smile back at him. (go to 12)

7. from 4
I can’t fool Norman. He knows that I am just making up an excuse. Everyone knows that my mother milks the family cows. He doesn’t take the hint, so he asks me again, “How about next weekend?”
A. I guess it won’t hurt to go with him. “Okay. What will I need to wear?” (go to 5)
B. I might as well be honest with him. “No. I have always felt I would be better off not to date out of my church—nothing personal. Say, maybe you’d like to meet some of us—we’re really a neat group.” (go to 19)
C. What would be a good excuse that would be an obvious hint to him that I don’t want to go? “No, I’m sorry, Norman, but I have to trap flies that night.” (go to 19)

8. from 3
I hope actions speak louder than words. But did I move away because I didn’t like him or because I didn’t want to get involved in that kind of relationship? At any rate, I hope I have let him know that there are certain limits to our friendship. I wonder what would have happened if I had encouraged him. (go to 6)

10. from 5, 20
Norman was hurt when I said I would not accept. He asks me if the real reason is because he is not a Mormon.
A. I’d better get to the point. “Yes. You’re really a nice person, Norman, but I have just felt that if I date only fellows who are members of the same church as I am, I’ll have fewer regrets later on.”
(It is easy to see that if you choose this response, Norman probably will not continue to ask you out. You will have avoided having to make any possible difficult decisions later on, if it turns out that Norman isn’t interested in the Church. To learn what could have happened if you had dated Norman, go to 5—or 3, if you’ve already dated him once.)
B. I can see he is easily hurt; I’d better not be too blunt. “No. Not really I just have to babysit a lot and don’t have a chance to go out much.” (go to 18)

11. from 3
Well, I’m letting him know how I feel about advances at this point. Anyway, we are still on the date. (go to 6)

12. from 6
That was a safe move, I think. I haven’t encouraged him. I hope he realizes that I know what I am doing. I hope he respects me for my standards.
Suppose I were to slide over next to him. (go to 13)

13. from 6, 12
Norman takes me to the door. We are holding hands. He tells me what a nice time he had. Then he asks me if I would like to do something next weekend. He’ll call later and let me know what we will do. If I accept, it will mean the third date with Norman Nonmormon. My response is:
A. I think two dates are enough, but three are too many, so—“Thanks, but let me pass this one by.” (go to 14)
B. “Sure, I would be happy to go somewhere. But let me know what we are going to do a little ahead of time.” (go to 16)

14. from 13
Well, now I’ve done it! I know, of course, that I never have to give reasons for refusing a date. I realize that I have to break off the relationship with Norman Nonmormon early if I am going to break it off at all. Should I have tried to explain to him that I do not want to develop a relationship with a non-Mormon fellow? How could I do it without hurting his feelings? But if I were going to follow this approach, I wonder if it would have been better to have told him this on the first date. Haven’t I been a little dishonest? I’ve accepted his dates and am breaking off now because he is not a Mormon. Yet I don’t even know what he thinks about the Church. I haven’t tried to introduce him to it or to other young Mormons.
Suppose I had encouraged him to call again. It might be interesting to see what would have developed. (go to 21)

16. from 13
I really do enjoy him and we get along so well together. I guess he must feel the same way. Am I prepared for what might be developing? (go to 21)

18. from 10
Boy, that situation was uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. But why do I have to lie? If I don’t want to face the issue or be honest with Norman, I don’t have to explain my feelings. I can just politely say no.
Anyway, this is two no’s for him, and I’ll be relieved if he doesn’t call again. (It is easy to see that if you choose not to explain, Norman probably will not continue to ask you out. You will have avoided having to make any possible difficult decisions later on, if it turns out that Norman isn’t interested in the Church. to learn what could have happened if you had dated Norman, go to 5—or to 3, if you’ve already dated him once.)

19. from 4, 7
The course I have chosen may or may not be a difficult one, depending upon where I live. If I have few opportunities to meet other Mormons, it certainly will affect the number of dates I have. Of course, many good people would join the Church if someone were to introduce them to it. Maybe the important thing here is that I remember that at some point in my life, dating can lead to marriage—and for me, there is only one kind of marriage. But what if I didn’t want to break off at this point? What would have happened had I accepted Norman’s date? (go to 5)

20. from 1
The next day I tell my best friend about my chance to go with Norman. She thinks I was crazy for not accepting the date. She says, “After all, he’s nice, well-liked, and a lot more active in his church than a lot of Mormon boys are in ours. And anyway, how do you know he wouldn’t be interested in the Church?”
The next day I see Norman in a biology class. He smiles and in a half-kidding, half-earnest way asks me for another date. I decide:
A. I’ve got to be firm. And I realize, of course, that I never have to give reasons for refusing a date. Some things are best left unsaid. “I’m sorry, Norman. But it really is nice of you to ask.” (go to 10)
B. He really does seem to be a fine person. And if I don’t let him meet a Mormon, maybe he’ll never know what we’re like. “I’d be glad to go if you’d still like to.” (go to 5)

21. from 14, 16
Everyday Norman waits for me and we go to class together. Sometimes it is a little hard to concentrate in class.
Wednesday he asks me if I would like to go over to his house Saturday night to watch television.
A. I’ve really got to stop this. “No, thanks, Norman. I don’t think we should see one another anymore.” (go to 23)
B. “Sure! Should I bring some popcorn?” (go to 25)
C. “I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you come to my place?” (go to 22)

22. from 21
I’m right in inviting him to my house. Who knows what it would have been like at his house? Would his parents be home? It could have been uncomfortable. (go to 29)

23. from 21
Was I saying no to that type of date, or did I say no because I did not want the relationship to develop further?
At any rate, I have given him a stop signal. (go to 24)

24. from 23
I can’t help but wonder what that date might have been like. I wonder where such a decision could possibly lead? (go to 25)

25. from 21, 24
Norman picks me up at my house, and we drive to his house. His parents seem very nice and welcome me warmly to their home. Then they excuse themselves. They are going out and don’t expect to be back until late. I didn’t count on this.
After Norman and I pop some corn, we watch a movie on television. He tries to kiss me. A little surprised,
A. I say, “Please don’t, Norman!” (go to 31)
B. I turn my head away. (go to 32)
C. I kiss him. (go to 30)

29. from 22
Norman and I are sitting on the couch watching the late movie. My parents have retired for the night, and it is getting late. They rap on the adjoining wall. Norman gets the picture, but before leaving he tries to kiss me. I was expecting this, so:
A. I say, “Please don’t, Norman!” (go to 31)
B. I turn my head away. (go to 32)
C. I kiss him. (go to 30)

30. from 25, 29, 31, 32
I realize that Norman is getting serious, and I am a little anxious. He asks me to the big school dance. I have heard that an LDS boy is thinking of asking me, so I think about it a minute, then say:
A. “No, thanks, Norman, I have plans for that night.” (go to 33)
B. “That sounds great! It’s a formal dance, isn’t it?” (go to 35)

31. from 25, 29
He gets the message, and nothing happens. But at the doorstep when he holds my hand, and looks so nice, and has such deep blue eyes … I’m going to assume that before I know it, he has kissed me good night. I’m even surprised myself because I hadn’t planned on it and really didn’t do anything to discourage him. (go to 30)

32. from 25, 29
Later, Norman tries again. I guess he likes me, and I guess I’m not really discouraging him.
I wonder what would happen if he didn’t get the message and I gave in. (go to 30)

33. from 30
It was wrong to lie. But then, I do have plans for the night—I plan to not date Norman. Of course, since I kissed him, Norman’s probably doing what he expects should normally follow the present pattern of our relationship. (go to 36)

35. from 30, 36
So now I have accepted another date with Norman Nonmormon. Norman puts his arm around me and leans forward to kiss me. My response is:
A. A “no” and a smile. (go to 37)
B. A kiss that means I really like Norman Nonmormon. (go to 38)

36. from 33
My turning down the date to the big school dance may have said “Stop!” to Norman. He wanted to know why I wouldn’t go to the dance, and I said I thought he was a swell person but that we were moving too fast in our relationship. He probably won’t ask me out again, and this is what I want—to get off the “marry-go-round” romance between Mary Mormon and Norman Nonmormon. But suppose I had accepted the dance date? Or another date later? Now that a relationship would be beginning, when would I start to introduce for consideration the Church and other factors upon which decisions could be based that would be mutually understandable and honest to both him and me?
Let’s see what would happen if I were to choose all of the answers that would encourage Norman. (go to 35)

37. from 35
Some boys are funny. They think that just because girls accept dates with them, they will eventually give them good night kisses. This is what Norman thinks, and I guess I have him going around in circles wondering why I continue to accept dates with him. As a matter of fact, I wonder myself. Isn’t it time for me to really get this whole thing on a more intelligent basis?
I’ll see what kind of encouragement a kiss might have given. (go to 38)

38. from 35, 37
The big school dance is very special. And Norman is so very thoughtful. Several people told us they thought we were a fine-looking couple. After the dance, Norman asks me to go steady. I say:
A. “No, Norman. I don’t think going steady would be wise.” (go to 39)
B. “Let me talk it over with my parents before I give you an answer.” (go to 42)
C. “Oh, Norman, I’d like to, very much.” (go to 45)

39. from 38
Norman is hurt. He says that the difference between regular dating and steady dating is not clear to him. Of course, to me it is—going steady is really like saying to others, “We’ve found in each other all that we want. We’re now off-limits to everyone else.” Maybe I should have broken off the relationship earlier.
But let’s assume that I accepted. (go to 45)

41. from 42
My parents said, “Just because a fellow is baptized, it doesn’t mean that he will be a model of perfection. If a Latter-day Saint doesn’t follow the Church’s high standards, don’t date him, either.” Should I accept my parents’ advice or not?
A. Well, whom can I date? (go to 44)
B. No. I’m telling Norman I’ll go steady with him. (go to 45)

42. from 38
After a long discussion with my parents, I am nearly exhausted. They keep bringing up the fact that because Norman is not a Latter-day Saint, he couldn’t take me to the temple if we decided to marry after school is finished. My argument stresses how much I like him and how nice a person he is. I finally say:
A. “Okay. I’ll accept your advice and not go steady.” (go to 43)
B. “But he is so much more a gentleman than any Church member I have ever dated.” (go to 41)
C. “I don’t want to follow you advice. I’ll tell Norman I’ll go steady.” (go to 45)

43. from 42
After the talk, my married sister came by. She said I am to be congratulated for agreeing not to date Norman steadily. She said, “You may think that Mom and Dad are ruining your social life; but if you will have a little faith in their wisdom, things will work out for you. Then, too, we don’t always consider the difficulty of being a parent. Have you ever tried to explain to Johnny why it is not good to put paper clips into an electrical outlet? Parents sometimes feel that same frustration in trying to explain some things.”
Had I not made this decision, where would steady dating with Norman Nonmormon have led? (go to 45)

44. from 41, 51, 52, 65, 66
My folks, Church leaders, and friends have always said that I should use the programs of the Church to get acquainted with other young Latter-day Saints. I know that my chances of finding happiness with a good Latter-day Saint man are much greater when one considers the importance of temple marriage, family customs, children, and our basic gospel values.
Going to Church socials and going to meetings are ways to get acquainted with members of the Church who believe as I do. And I should turn any future dates with any non-Mormon Norman into group affairs and introduce him to the Church and other Mormons. A non-Mormon needs to know a lot more about me and I need to know his response to the gospel before any decision on a close relationship can be made. Right from the start, Church socials and meetings should be my strength—to receive dates from these sources or introduce non-Mormons into them quickly.
(If you arrived here from 41, go to 45 and see what might have happened if you had gone steady. If you arrived here from 51 or 52, go to 54 and see what would have happened if you had accepted the ring.)

45. from 38, 39, 41, 42, 43, 44
I am now going steady with Norman Nonmormon. Since we are going steady, we decide to spend Sunday afternoons together. Norman wants me to go to his church, but I would rather he go to mine. Finally we decide to:
A. Go to mine, and he agrees to accompany me. (go to 47)
B. Go to his church. This pleases Norman. (go to 46)
C. Compromise, rather than quarrel, and go to neither. We decide that watching television is a good way to avoid quarrels like this. (go to 48)

46. from 45
On Sunday Norman directs me to what would be similar to an investigator class in our church. I am invited to begin studying Norman’s faith. My reaction is:
A. “Not now; maybe later. I would like to know more about your church sometime in the future.” (go to 48)
B. “No, thank you.” (go to 49)

47. from 45
I thought getting Norman to go to my church might be a good way for him to meet the Mormons and for me to introduce him to the missionaries. After meeting Norman, the missionaries offer to explain more about the Church to him. If Norman refuses to listen to them:
A. I will quit dating him. (go to 50)
B. I will say nothing but will try to convert him later. (go to 48)

48. from 45, 46, 47, 49, 50, 65
Time passes, and a holiday arrives. I expect a small gift from Norman, because he has hinted that he has something for me. But I am taken completely by surprise when he shows me a diamond ring and asks me to marry him. I say:
A. “Norman, I couldn’t possibly marry a non-Latter-day Saint.” (go to 51)
B. “Oh, Norman, you’re wonderful! You know I’ll marry you!” (go to 54)
C. “Norman, if you’d join the Church, I’d consider it.” (go to 53)

49. from 46
I realize now that Norman’s faith is very important to him. He seriously wants me to come his way regarding religious issues. So:
A. I decide not to date him any longer. (go to 65)
B. I decide it does make a difference that he feels strongly about his religion, but I’m sure our love can solve these problems. Everything will work out. (go to 48)

50. from 47
This is the right decision! But haven’t I been unfair to Norman? Bam! All of a sudden, the Church! I should have been discussing this with him all along; then this decision would be understandable to him. He’d know why I couldn’t continue a serious relationship with a non-Mormon.
I should have learned from him a long time back whether he was interested in the Church; and if he didn’t wish to hear or know more about us, the signal to break off our dating would have been clear.
What would happen had I kept dating Norman after he knew how I felt about the Church? (go to 48)

51. from 48
Well, I got out of that! But my friend Peggy wants to know how I justify that refusal in light of all the steady dating during school and in light of my not seriously trying to let Norman know about me and what I want out of my marriage. But I’ve never been honest enough with Norman to tell him of our differences. Peggy says Norman would not have asked me if I hadn’t encouraged him all along. Norman is probably hurt and bitter. What should I do now?
A. Meet some good Latter-day Saints. (go to 44)
B. See what would have happened if I had accepted the ring. (go to 54)
C. Turn down the ring but continue to date Norman. After all, he takes me out to fun places, and even though I could never marry him, I enjoy going places with him and he has nice friends. (go to 52)

52. from 51
My older sister thinks I’m self-centered and dishonest. She says, “Don’t you think Norman has feelings? Don’t lead him along when you don’t have any serious intentions. You’re not being honest. Come on, sister, get with it! Let him know that you could never marry him. Then go out and find yourself some nice Church member who is eligible.” (If this interests you, go to 44)

53. from 48
I guess I underestimated Norman. I thought he would become discouraged when I refused to become engaged until he joined the Church. Consequently, he has studied with the missionaries and has agreed to be baptized. I’m so happy I can hardly stand it. Earlier this evening we attended his baptism, and I saw him become a member of the Church. Afterwards he again asked me to marry him. I accepted his proposal. Now he wants to know when we can get married. My answer is:
A. “Let’s wait a year until you can hold the Melchizedek Priesthood so that we can go to the temple.” (go to 58)
B. “Okay. It will have to be a civil marriage, but we can go to the temple in a year or so when you can get a recommend.” (go to 57)
C. “Let’s have a civil marriage.” (go to 59)

54. from 44, 48, 51, 63, 66
I agree to marry Norman Nonmormon. We will be married in two months. That gives us plenty of time to plan the wedding and to work out some problems such as where we will live, what church we will be married in, and so forth. I wonder which church we will be married in:
A. My chapel? (go to 68)
B. His church? (go to 55)
C. A compromise. We’ll marry civilly. Then no one in his family can say that our marriage was overly influenced by my religion. (go to 68)

55. from 54
My sister Lucy is at it again. She says, “What in the world ever prompted you to make that decision? To be married in his church is the same as saying that in all future decisions, your marriage will follow his faith. The blessing (or baptizing) of your children, their confirmation, and the general attitudes and values to be found in your home will follow his faith. You have said—almost—that the Church is not a part of your life. You would have been smarter to marry civilly. At least that would be neutral ground. Better still, it would have been much smarter of you to have gotten off this ‘marry-go-round’ much earlier.”
Well, it’s too late now. The invitations have already been sent out. (Or can you change your mind even after invitations have been sent? You most certainly can! Better to suffer a little embarrassment than get things off on the wrong foot. Let’s assume you realize that marrying in his church could never work, and that you’ve convinced Norman to marry civilly.) (go to 68)

56. from 57
I wonder how I can be sure. A converted person is a changed person. Has Norman really changed? Does he attend all of his meetings, carry his priesthood assignments, and pay his tithing and offerings? Do we hold family prayer and home evening, and does Norman seem to enjoy these and understand why we do what we do? The choice now is Norman’s. I can’t go without him, and I can’t go alone. I’ve certainly put myself in a risky position. The thing I want more than anything else—a temple marriage—is now out of my control. I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. (go to 59)

57. from 53, 63, 64
We have been married for over a year now. I have been looking forward to our going to the temple to be married for eternity. But whenever I bring up the issue, he avoids it. I am becoming worried. I’m beginning to wonder whether we will make it. I’ll ask him again. He says:
A. “Yes.” (go to 56)
B. “No.” (go to 59)

58. from 53
Congratulations to myself! I have let my head rule my heart. The year has passed. It’s been a busy year for both of us, and now we love each other even more. We are waiting and working for a temple recommend. Of course, this matter is up to the two of us and our bishop. We know that moral and religious laws of the Church. As a result of the interview with the bishop:
A. Norman is worthy to obtain a recommend. (go to 63)
B. Norman is not worthy to obtain a recommend. (go to 64)

59. from 53, 56, 57
As time passes, Norman gradually expressed disinterest in attending Church with me. First he has one excuse, then another. Now he doesn’t even bother to give an excuse—he just doesn’t go to church. For a while he didn’t say anything about my going alone, but now he seems to resent the time I spend working in the Church. My position as MIA teacher doesn’t take as much time as he says it does. He seems to think that one hour on Sunday is all the time anyone should spend in church. That’s all he ever did. How will I solve this problem?
A. To help get better feelings in my marriage, maybe I will quit my job as MIA teacher and go to church just once in a while. (go to 61)
B. I will continue going to church and teaching MIA in spite of Norman’s nagging. He’s been baptized. He knows how important Church service is in keeping ourselves spiritually in tune—doesn’t he? (go to 60)

60. from 59
In spite of Norman’s resentment, I continue to be active in the Church. I try to help him feel good about it, but he has started bowling and playing cards with his friends three or four nights a week. It seems to me he does this just to get even with me for spending my time in church. I’m afraid we are starting to drift far apart even though we still live together. What am I going to do now?
A. To help get better feelings in my marriage, maybe I will quit my church job and attend meetings only once in a while. (go to 61)
B. I will continue my Church activities, in spite of Norman’s feelings. I’m sure he will come to see that he’s wrong. (go to 62)

61. from 59, 60
Quitting my church job and going to church once in a while may stop Norman from nagging me about spending so much time in church, but it won’t solve my problem. It will lead to more and more inactivity on my part. What about my children? If Norman resents my spending so much time in church, he will feel the same way about them. Will they be able to attend church regularly and participate in its activities? Even if he permits them, will he cooperate with me as I attempt to teach them to fast and pray, pay tithing, keep the Word of Wisdom, and hold family home evening regularly? I’m afraid I have placed myself in a very risky and potentially very unhappy situation, and all because I didn’t know enough to make the right decisions at the right time. Anyone can see what my future holds. It will be a miracle if my dreams about my family can ever come to pass.
I’m glad this has been just an imaginary experience and that I didn’t really have to live it. (end of this route)

62. from 60
As time goes on, it is becoming clear that persisting in my church activities causes more and more conflict. Even though I am active in the Church, I am miserable. Choosing the other alternative and participating in church activities only once in a while will not make me happy either. Neither of these choices is bringing me happiness at home, but what other alternatives are there for me?
I chose this risky possibility when I chose to get married civilly and not wait until Norman held the Melchizedek Priesthood. During that year, if Norman were not converted or had joined the Church just for me, it would have become obvious to both of us. Of course, this present situation of Norman’s inactivity in the Church could have happened even if we had waited and gone to the temple, but the possibility of its occurring would have been greatly reduced.
I am glad this is not a real experience. By making the right decisions at earlier stages of this sad situation. (end of this route)

63. from 58
I’m very happy. Norman is a member of the Church and we are soon going to be married in the temple. Some say I am lucky. They say that my case represents the small percentage that gets this end result—a truly converted fiancé. But when they say I am lucky, they are wrong. This wasn’t a matter of luck. It was based on intelligent decision-making. I made two wise decisions that set me on the right path. First, I discussed marriage and my church with Norman and chose not to marry him because I would marry only a member of the Church. Next, I chose to wait a year until he could hold the Melchizedek Priesthood so we could be married in the temple. These are the two major decisions that have greatly influenced my future life and happiness.
Suppose I had not made these decisions?
A. What if I had said, “Let’s get married now,” instead of “Let’s wait until you join the Church,” when Norman first proposed to me? (go to 54)
B. What if I had waited until Norman was baptized and then said, “Let’s get married now and go to the temple later”? (go to 57)

64. from 58
What am I going to do now? If the bishop has told me that I’m worthy, morally and in every other way, then it only means that Norman has failed to keep the commandments, isn’t fully converted, or has some other problem. I decided to:
A. Marry him anyway. (go to 57)
B. Break off our relationship and not see him anymore. This is too risky for marriage. (go to 66)

65. from 49
Well, I have finally realized that it is necessary to get off the romance boat when the oars don’t work. I wonder what took me so long. This relationship could never work. We’d both be very unhappy, quarrel over which church our children should join, and I’d always hope he’d come my way. Our basic philosophies would disagree at so many points that only such a superficial relationship as dating could have hidden them this long. I want to get off the “marry-go-round” with Norman Nonmormon. I now want to:
A. Meet some boys who are Church members. (go to 44)
B. See what would have happened if I had continued to date Norman. (go to 48)

66. from 64
Congratulations! When a bishop cannot give a temple recommend to a person, it means that there are some problems that need serious attention. I’ll ask the bishop to see that Norman’s bishop and ward members work hard to keep Norman in the Church. But this is too risky right now. I must have been pretty foolish or must have been going around with my eyes half closed not to notice Norman’s growth—or lack of it—during this past year. Anyway, there is no question but that this is the right decision. If I want to know how to meet some other LDS fellows, I can go to 44.
Had I not made this decision, however, and decided to marry Norman, what might have happened? (go to 54)

67. from 70
Well, I’ve really blown it! Don’t I realize that my children, their children, and their children’s children will likely all be raised outside the gospel? If my children were not members of another church, at least there might be a chance that Norman would let them be baptized into the restored Church in time, but it is extremely unlikely that this will happen if my children are in another church. Didn’t I remember Lucy’s talk to me? Don’t I understand what the Church is—or what it can mean to me throughout all time? I am denying my son the fulness of joy reserved for those who accept the Lord’s Church. With this pattern of behavior, what will our future hold? (go to 72)

68. from 54, 55
We have been married for one year. The honeymoon is over. Our first conflict was when the bishop asked me to teach a Primary class. I really wanted the job, but Norman didn’t like the idea of my being away from home. He likes his meals prepared and waiting when he gets home from work. I say:
A. “I will not accept the job.” (go to 69)
B. I tell Norman that Church activity would mean a great deal to me and I’m asking him to fix his own meals the nights I have to teach Primary. (go to 70)

69. from 68
I have come to miss the spiritual growth and opportunity for service that I had when I was active in the Church. My spiritual life will continue to decay and nothing in my future suggests that it will get better. Did I consider this reality when I first started dating Norman Nonmormon? (go to 70)

70. from 68, 69
It is some months later, and Norman and I are blessed with our first child. He weighs seven pounds, eight ounces, and is twenty-one inches long. I can’t wait to get out of the hospital and take him home. When I get home, Norman is anxious to have him baptized. I say:
A. “Are you kidding? Little children don’t need baptism. Let’s wait until he is eight years old. That’s when we baptize children in my church.” (go to 71)
B. “Okay, you’re the father of our household. I guess it’s okay for the firstborn son to be baptized into his father’s church.” (go to 67)

71. from 70
Those are nice words, but how am I going to persuade Norman? He is convinced that his church is best for the children. Before we were married, I never thought how deeply we could feel about these kinds of problems. (go to 72)

72. from 67, 71
Years pass, and several children have come into our home. Life has had its happy and sad days. We have had joy together, but I know that we have missed so much. Our main conflicts have been religion-oriented, because our philosophies about life are so different. I didn’t know that the gospel is such a total part of my life. Each time one of our children is faced with a religious decision, I say:
A. “Your father is the head of the family. We’d better do as he says.” (go to 74)
B. “Norman, my church is really the true church. Can’t you see that? This time, do as I say, please.” (go to 73)
C. “Let’s not baptize them in either church and then our kids can decided what they want to do.” (go to 75)

73. from 72
I wonder why I think Norman will agree to this idea. Our dating relationship certainly couldn’t have shown him how I felt. Norman might—or might not—compromise his thoughts. But did I ever consider that it is impossible to compromise with the truth? Either something is true or it isn’t. Even if Norman agreed for half of our children to be baptized in my church, I can see the conflict and hard feelings that would arise in our family. Misunderstanding, no common bond, arguing all the time—what have I gotten myself into? (go to 76)

74. from 72
But when Norman answers life’s important questions, our children get a distorted view of the purpose of life and the eternal values that are most important. Norman’s answers aren’t bad answers. They just won’t help our children get into the celestial kingdom. My narrow-minded sister Lucy says I don’t think enough of my children to provide them with the very best kind of family. Well, she can just go to church. We’re as good as she is any day. (go to 76)

75. from 72
At first I thought this was a sensible solution, but as the years go by, I see that not baptizing our children into the Church means that they grow up without the gospel. I’m heartsick. Maybe if Norman and I really communicate and if he’ll let someone whom he trusts in my church talk to him, we can solve this problem. But it will be hard, and maybe I’ll never be able to solve this problem. (go to 76)

76. from 73, 74, 75
I finally realize that it is impossible to ignore the truth of the gospel and still find happiness. The minute I compromise, like getting romantically involved with a person who does not believe as I do, I immediately set myself on a course that will lead to unhappiness. The amount of unhappiness I experience will depend on how far I go along that romantic path. I can see now that when one chooses a path he also chooses the place where the path leads.
I’m relieved that this is only an imaginary romance. I’m glad that the conflicts and problems encountered here can be avoided if I make proper decisions early in my dating career. The steps that can lead me to eternal happiness or to sorrow are obvious. Anyone can see how important it is for one to recognize the steps that lead to increased involvement with a person and then, most of all, to make up one’s mind ahead of time about how far he’ll go on the Norman Nonmormon “marry-go-round.”

At Christmastime no gift that we wrap will mean as much as the gift of ourselves. Several years ago some of the General Authorities were hurrying to leave the building during the Christmas hustle and bustle time. As we drove home, I noticed Elder Bruce R. McConkie leaving at the same time. It was several weeks later that I learned that instead of going home as most of the rest of us had done, he had gone to the LDS Hospital and there had gone from room to room blessing people, holding their hands, telling them that the Savior and others loved them. And so during that precious time when the rest of us felt we needed to be home, he took a few minutes to bring light into those people’s lives.

Several years ago, I felt myself beginning to sink under the weight of opportunity and responsibility. We had two sons still living at home, one son on a mission, and three other children scattered across the United States with their families. My husband was running for a State-wide political office and I was supporting him and traveling with him when I was able. My father was recovering from open heart surgery and my Mother was dying of cancer. I took every opportunity to sit with Mom during her treatments, helping in their home, cooking, cleaning, and spending nights caring for my Mother so Dad could rest. As you can see, responsibilities associated with home and family were many and varied. I was also serving as a Stake Relief Society president. My days were filled with responsibilities and sweet opportunities to serve. One night I arrived home late, the house was quiet, I put in a new CD. The music soothed my troubled heart. One song touched me in a special way. I played it over and over listening to the words. As I listened, three words; "Lord, remember me" filled me with the Spirit and entered into my mind and my heart. I closed my eyes and offered a silent prayer. I asked; "Lord, do you remember me?" The Spirit enveloped me and I heard this thought enter my mind; "I remember you, do you remember me?"

I realized at that very moment that, like Peter, I was distracted and had momentarily lost focus on the Savior. Like Martha, I was, "cumbered about much serving, and worried and troubled about many things..."[11] I was reminded; "one thing is needful..."[12] and partaking deeply of that "good part",[13] the Savior and His Atonement, each day is a choice.

I was a directionless 16-year-old moving around the country when a pastor of a local church in northern California took me in. He gave me a roof over my head and my first exposure to Jesus Christ. I began to attend the local church’s youth congregation. After a few months, I was given free schooling at a youth ministry school, allowing me to become a youth minister over a group of 8–15-year-olds. Life seemed to be falling into place, but I still lacked a life plan. When my pastor suggested I enroll in the army, I realized it could help me gain the focus I needed for my life. Plus, I was excited to serve my country and knew it was a great opportunity to receive an education. So I enlisted.
I soon learned that even though there are a lot of tough things in life, basic training may be among the toughest. But on Sunday, all soldiers were given a small break to attend religious worship, which provided a much-needed rest—not just from the daily rigors of the army, but also from a stern drill sergeant as well. I eagerly accepted this opportunity and began attending a different faith’s worship services each week. When I attended The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I told the members I was already a member so they wouldn’t try to convert me. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the three-hour break, so I decided to go back the following week.
That time I took John, my training partner, with me to church. The first speaker was a woman who was graduating from basic combat training. She shared her conversion story and then sang the hymn “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief” (Hymns, no. 29). I glanced at John and noticed tears forming in his eyes.
“What is this feeling?” he asked. “I’ve got the tingles.”
As I replied, “It’s called the Spirit,” it struck me that something special was going on—something about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was different.
John and I soon met with the missionaries, and they gave us copies of the Book of Mormon. John readily accepted his copy; I was more hesitant. In basic training our only free time was the four hours we had for sleep, and I did not feel like we could waste a precious minute doing anything other than sleep. But John felt differently.
That night as I climbed into my bunk, I noticed a light coming from the bunk next to me. It was John reading the Book of Mormon instead of sleeping. The night guard for our barracks later approached and asked John what he was doing. John matter-of-factly replied, “I’m reading the Book of Mormon.” The guard responded, “Oh, John, you’re not reading those lies are you?” I grimaced on the top bunk. I knew I should defend John and the Book of Mormon, but I cowardly decided to roll over and act like I was asleep.
John climbed out of his bunk, stood up, and, addressing the guard boldly, stated, “This is another testament of Jesus Christ. You take that back.”
I lay in anguish all that night. I had failed to defend my God and my training partner. I felt like I had denied my Christ and denied my discipleship. I, who was a certified minister, had lain in bed, while John, after having the Book of Mormon for only a few hours, had bravely stood up to defend it. Overcome with shame and embarrassment, I knew that the only thing I could do was to read the Book of Mormon for myself.
As I began to read, it wasn’t long before I gained a testimony that the Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ. I was so excited and knew I had to share the good word with my adopted family. I wrote home to my pastor and eagerly explained what I’d learned. I was surprised, confused, and mostly sad when he wrote back telling me I could never go home to them again unless I stopped going to the LDS Church and reading the Book of Mormon. I wanted to remain close to my family, but by then I knew the Book of Mormon is true and that I would do everything in my power never to let God down again, even if it meant giving up my family (see Matthew 10:37–39).
So I did what I had to do. I got baptized.
About two years later, I was praying one night when a thought entered my mind: “What about a mission?” I dismissed the idea as impossible. After all, I had signed a contract and was enlisted to serve in the army for a set amount of time. The next night the same thing happened, and I shrugged it off again. But when the thought came back for the third consecutive night, I decided to ask Heavenly Father about it.
“If I really am supposed to serve a mission, help me know what to do,” I pleaded.
About 10 minutes later I was lying in my bunk when someone knocked on the door. It was my elders quorum president, looking a little uncomfortable.
Somewhat sheepishly he said, “I’m not exactly sure why, but for the past three nights the Spirit has prompted me to tell you that you are supposed to serve a mission. Tonight the prompting was so strong that there was no way I could ever think of sleeping without telling you.”
Illustration by Andrew Bosley
I knew my answer, and so I started to act on it. I knew it’s extremely hard to get permission to take a two-year break from the army, but after much effort and many small miracles, I was finally granted leave for two years to serve a mission. I received my call to the Alaska Anchorage Mission, where I’m now serving.
The Lord has blessed my life with so much. He brought the pastor into my life so I could learn about Jesus Christ and straighten out my life. Then He helped me find the Church and the restored gospel, and He cleared the way so I could serve a mission. I am so grateful that He trusts me enough to call me to share His gospel with His children. He knows each and every one of us, and if we have faith in Him, He will always prepare a way for us and guide us to the right places at the right times.

When I started my freshman year of college, I quickly formed friendships with two other freshmen, one a rancher and the other a farmer. We made an unlikely threesome—two down-to-earth western US country boys and one fast-talking East Coast city slicker. After graduating from college, they returned home to ranch and farm, and I entered the corporate business world.
Annual Christmas cards and occasional phone calls kept us up to date as our lives advanced. By the time I was in my mid-30s, I had served twice as Scoutmaster. Later, as I finished my second “tour” as an assistant nursery leader, my two friends were serving in bishoprics. As time progressed, I fell into the trap of comparing my callings to my friends’ callings, and I began to feel unwanted and ignored.
By the time I was in my mid-40s, leadership callings extended to others would trouble my thoughts for days. Each time someone was called to a ward or stake leadership position, Satan would whisper to me that I was unworthy or lacked the faith necessary for such callings. I could intellectually fight off such thoughts through prayer and study, but I still struggled with my self-worth. Being “just an elder” and refereeing youth basketball games at age 50 while my friends were serving in stake presidencies was not what I had envisioned I would be doing at that age.
Then came an experience that changed my understanding of the gospel. I was assisting my wife one Sunday with her Primary class full of energetic seven-year-olds. As Primary sharing time started, I noticed one of the class members huddled on her chair and obviously not feeling well. The Spirit whispered to me that she needed comfort, so I sat by her and quietly asked what was wrong. She didn’t answer but seemed to be in real distress, so I began to sing softly to her.
The Primary was learning a new song, and when we sang, “If I listen with my heart I hear the Savior’s voice,”1 I began to feel the most incredible light and warmth fill my soul. I felt wrapped in eternal arms of love. I understood that Heavenly Father had heard this young girl’s prayer and that I was there to provide the comfort He wanted to give her. My spiritual understanding was opened, and I received a personal testimony of our Savior’s love for her, for each of His children, and for me. I knew He trusted me to serve someone in need, and I was where He wanted me to be. I learned that we are His hands when we serve the one.

About 30 years ago I met a man who won freedom from spiritual captivity by the redeeming power of Christ. This European man, whom I will call Thomas, was about 45 years old when I met him. Twenty years earlier he had been a young man of 25 when his parents met the missionaries and joined the Church. Thomas, who considered himself an atheist, had no interest in his parents’ new religion. But his mother loved him, and she treasured the hope in her heart that someday her son might be brought to know the truth of the restored gospel. As the years passed, his mother tried many times to persuade her son to at least meet with the missionaries and hear their message. He refused again and again, and he mocked his parents for their religious faith.

One day, in desperation, his mother tried a new approach. She said, “Thomas, if you will take the missionary discussions one time, then I will never again talk to you about the Church.” Thomas, tired of his mother’s pleadings, decided this was a good bargain. He agreed to meet with the missionaries. The elders who taught him reported that he had no interest at all in the Church and no belief in God. During the first three discussions he simply sat there full of pride, occasionally making fun of what the elders were trying to teach. The only reason they went back was because they knew of his mother’s love for him and the agreement between them.

The fourth discussion came, which was then about the Atonement of Christ and the first principles of the gospel. Thomas said nothing at all as they taught him, but they noticed he grew unusually silent and listened closely to the discussion. At the end of the lesson they bore their testimonies of Christ. Thomas simply sat there looking at them, saying nothing. One of the missionaries felt prompted to open his Bible to the Gospel of Matthew and read these words:

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. [Matthew 11:28–29]

Suddenly, without warning, Thomas burst into tears. He sobbed like a child for the longest time and then said, “Are you trying to say that Christ would forgive me of my sins? I have lived a miserable life. I am haunted by the memory of my sins. I would do anything to be freed of the guilt I feel.”

All of his pride had only been a facade that hid a soul captive to sin and guilt.

The elders assured Thomas that Christ would forgive him and free him from the burden of guilt if he would but repent and be baptized. They bore testimony once more to him of the power of Christ’s Atonement. From that moment on, everything changed in the life of Thomas. He had much to repent of and much to overcome, but through the blessings of the Lord, and to the amazement of his mother and father, he was able to qualify for baptism. He became a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

More than 20 years later, I sat in the chapel of the Frankfurt temple waiting for an endowment session to begin. There was a white-haired elderly man sitting in front of me who all at once turned around and said, “Aren’t you Elder Porter?” To my great joy I recognized it was Thomas, still faithful and true in the Church, a man freed from bondage by the power of Jesus Christ.

If you are fortunate enough to have grandparents who are still living, you can ask them these sorts of questions. And if your grandparents haven’t written their personal history, you can help them write it. It’s a big job, but if you ask January Winterton, 18, of St. George, Utah, she will tell you it’s worth the work.
January’s grandma, Karen Vlam, is a woman of great faith and courage. Confined to a wheelchair now, she has battled multiple sclerosis for more than 30 years. Despite her daily challenges, she is still smiling. Her dedication to the gospel and to her large family is a wonderful example to January.
“I want her to be more than just my kids’ great-grandma that they see in an old picture,” says January. “I want her to be a person that they know a lot about.”
That’s why January spent two-and-a-half weeks last summer living with her grandparents. Each day January asked her grandma questions about her life and typed the answers on a laptop computer. Once her notes are edited and compiled, January expects to have more than 50 pages of facts, stories, and pictures about her grandma’s life.
Along with funny stories, January’s grandma also shared her testimony and expressed her love for the Savior. January says, “I was impressed how throughout her life she turned to the Lord in her trials. She isn’t resentful about her disease, but instead she has learned to have a good attitude and move forward.
“Talking to my grandma made me realize that my trials are so small,” continues January. “If she can stay strong with all that she has been through, I can too. It may take a little faith on my part, but I just have to follow her example, her example of faith.”
After writing her grandma’s personal history, January feels she knows her grandma a lot better than before. “I know where she is coming from. I know her life experiences,” she says. January also knows that writing a personal history is hard work. It isn’t easy to summarize a life on paper. Because of this January suggests you help your grandparents or older relatives write their personal history, especially if they have health challenges that may prevent them from doing it themselves. She says the best thing to do is to get them thinking about their life by asking questions and just talking with them. Before you start, however, make sure you are ready to record their answers on tape, on video, on a laptop computer, or on paper.

I used to have a 1978 Harley-Davidson motorcycle. I had invested a huge sum of money in it and was indescribably proud of it. It was everything to me. Every Sunday I joined a group of friends in Patillas, Puerto Rico, and we rode our motorbikes around the island. We forgot all our problems, our families, God—everything—for a brief period of pleasure on those bikes. In essence, my motorcycle was my idol.
That all changed when a former classmate, Jaime Rivera Gómez, introduced me to the Church. I will be eternally grateful to Jaime and to the missionaries for their teachings, patience, and genuine love. My wife and I were baptized on 31 March 1996.
Finding the gospel of Jesus Christ changed our lives completely. I immediately sold my motorcycle, for much less money than I had invested in it. But the sacrifice was worth it. As I changed my life, Heavenly Father—the only true God—poured out blessings on me. Now I am happy. My home is happy. I love my wife and my children. We hold family home evening, and we pray and serve the Lord as a family.
Three months after becoming members of the Church, we traveled to the Washington D.C. Temple and were baptized for some of our ancestors. Our second visit to the temple was in July 1997. There we received our endowments and performed sacred ordinances for our loved ones.
I know God loves me, and I am striving each day to become more like Him.

Lindsey M. suffered from epilepsy. “Every morning, I would beg my Heavenly Father to take the seizures away,” Lindsey says. But they didn’t go away. While Lindsey waited to be healed, she received priesthood blessings, which brought her peace. And that peace was a miracle itself. “When we turn to our Heavenly Father, He will undoubtedly be there for us, spreading miracles and offering comfort,” she says. Lindsey eventually received a surgery that helped with her seizures.

Yes, it’s true—a blind postman! His name was Owen Jones, and he delivered the mail for almost twenty-five years.
Owen was born in 1819 in a little village in Wales. When he was just a small boy, he fell into the fireplace, severely burning his face and losing the sight in one eye. When he was about thirty, he lost the sight in his other eye.
At first, he was discouraged and depressed, but before long, his natural, happy disposition returned. He continued to play the violin, and he worked at developing his talents for mimicking voices and telling stories. He learned to accept his blindness without bitterness, and, like many blind people, he developed his other senses.
When the missionaries came to Wales, he and his family were baptized and decided to go to America. He and his brother and sister arrived in New Orleans in 1849 on the ship Hartley. From there they made their way to Utah. Owen settled in Brigham City, a small community about sixty miles north of Salt Lake City, where there were other Welsh pioneers.
The neighbors found him cheerful, sociable, and friendly. He often did small repairs for them, and he made chair seats of rush (a course grass), cane, and rawhide.
He never had any trouble getting around the little town. He had an excellent sense of direction, counted the steps between fences and trees, and listened to the sounds around him.
When the job of postman became available, someone suggested that “Blind Man Jones,” as he was affectionately called, could do it. He was happy for the opportunity to be useful and to earn a steady paycheck.
He did well at his new job. Each day an associate sorted the mail for him and put it in the proper order in his canvas bag. Then away he went. Carrying a long buggy whip in front of him much like blind people nowadays use a white cane, he made his way around the town, delivering the mail. If he was not sure he had the right letters in his hand, he asked homeowners to check and resort them for him.
Owen took his meals with many of the townspeople; they all enjoyed his company and loved to hear stories about his early life in Wales. He spoke English almost as well as his native Welsh, and he was often called on to translate for immigrants who had not yet learned English.
Many children remembered having him in their homes for meals and parties. Owen loved to be a part of these happy times. Sometimes the carpet was rolled up, and the children danced to his violin music. He particularly enjoyed hearing the children’s laughter as they hopped and skipped to the music.
After one evening of dancing and merriment, the host asked his son to walk Owen home. After a block or so, he said to the boy, “You’d better go back; it must be very dark.”
“But what about you?”
“Oh, I can find my way without any trouble. Remember, the world looks the same to me whether it is night or day!”
The children always watched for him, and they took his hand and walked along with him, especially when he came to a small footbridge over a little creek. He probably would have had no trouble getting across, for the bridge had a railing, but he let the children feel that he really needed their help, and they loved it.
Owen never complained, and he never seemed to feel sorry for himself. He often said, “I would much rather lose my eyesight than my hearing. I can laugh and joke with friends, play the violin, and enjoy the music. I can hear the birds and the rushing streams and the other sounds of the world around me. Those are the things that give me joy!”
Owen Jones died of pneumonia in 1894 and was buried in the Brigham City Cemetery. He never married, but he enjoyed the love and affection of all the townspeople just the same as if he had been part of their families. He was an inspiration to all who knew him because he was willing to make the most of his abilities.
“It is not so bad to lose your sight,” he once said. “After all, what counts is what is in your mind!”
We could all learn a thing or two about living from Owen.

Mary Fielding, who later married Joseph’s brother Hyrum, visited the Prophet after a severe illness in the summer of 1837 had nearly taken his life. At that time antagonism against him had reached almost overwhelming proportions. She records:
“He feels himself to be but a poor creature and can do nothing but what God enables him to do. He seems very happy. He told us something of his feelings during his sickness. He said when he [was] too weak to pray himself the enemy strove against him. The struggle sometimes became so great that he had to call upon his wife or some friend to pray that the good spirit might conquer. He was blessed at times with such glorious visions as made him quite forget that his body was afflicted. On the Sunday night before mentioned when to all appearance he seemed to be so near his end, good Brother Carter … and some others met together in the House of the Lord where they fasted and prayed for him nearly all night. Brother Carter saw in a vision a grave open to receive him [the Prophet] … but saw the earth fall in of its own accord and fill up the grave with no person in. From this [time] he began rapidly to recover and in three or four days after was able to be out in the air. Those who love him of course rejoice abundantly. He says he shall yet stand in his place and accomplish the work God has given him to do however much many seek his removal.”30

It seemed like a great way to earn a backpacking merit badge. A five-day trip, 14 miles in, 14 miles out, and a few side trips up canyons to achieve 32 total miles, just what the members of Varsity Scout Team 6475 needed to finish their qualifications. And along the way through the red rock country of the Colorado Plateau, from Hurricane Wash through Coyote Gulch to the Escalante River, there would be some remarkable scenery: Jacob Hamblin Natural Arch, hand-hewn by nature, time, wind, and water; and Lake Powell, Hole-in-the-Rock, and Dance Hall Rock, to be visited by car on the way home.
But as hikes often do, this one turned out to be harder on the trail than it appeared on the map. “It started out dry,” said Rob Perkins, 14, a member of the Orem 75th Ward, Orem Utah Windsor Stake, which sponsors the team. “Then it got drier and drier. Then finally, just when you were wondering if your canteen water would be enough to last, you noticed a trickle of water in the rocks at your feet. Pretty soon we were following a creek and catching tadpoles. Then we were following a river.”
The wash joined the gulch, which dropped deeper and deeper, crossing the path of water which would normally be far beneath the earth. At that point, the water simply flowed out of the ground.
But walking in the sneaker-deep stream presented some problems of its own. First of all, the water was full of silt.
“It would fill your shoes so full you couldn’t walk in them anymore,” said Willie Holdman, 15. “So you’d take your shoes off and walk barefoot. But then you’d come to a place on an S-curve where you could cut across open, sun-baked sand. Was it ever hot! I’ve never run so fast in my life. And at the end of the day, the tops of your feet would be sunburned. That makes it hard to want to put your shoes on anyway.”
Simple walking also created friction, which inflicted additional foot damage. “I felt like the soles of my feet had been rubbed with sandpaper,” Shriedhar Dusara, 15, said. “Sometimes they would get really tender.”
Of course, after a while packs got heavy and it seemed hot all the time. “It wasn’t a killer heat,” Brad Nelson said. “In fact, the farther down the gulch we got, the cooler it got. But anytime you’re carrying a lot of weight, you’re going to get tired.”
And, once again, thirsty. “We had to treat all of the water to make sure it was safe to drink,” Shriedhar said. “But even though it tasted funny, we were sure glad to have it.”
The gulch grew narrower and deeper. The sides became walls, some 50 feet tall and only four feet apart. Then the crevasse opened into a true canyon, with the river running broadly down the middle. Huge cliffs towered high on either side. Holes weathered in some rocks made them look like Swiss cheese. Elsewhere, rocks bore a remarkable resemblance to human faces or animals. In one side canyon, the weather had shaped rocks into small, round, ping-pong sized balls which literally covered the ground.
Brad explained that the Scouts would get their hats wet and let the water drip down and evaporate to cool their skin. He said he remembered being exhausted, then looking up and seeing a tree, the first greenery he’d seen for miles.
“All right,” he said. “Vegetation!”
And the river banks got greener from then on, even though rust red remained the predominant hue.
During the days, the Scouts discovered that there were plenty of grottos along the trail where they could rest in the shade. They learned that water collects at the base of cliffs and in sink holes, that plants often grow in such places, and that frogs congregate in the water. They also found some shallow quicksand and discovered that after they walked on it enough, the water was forced out and it became more solid. Evenings were spent in fireside discussions, lizard chases, games, hiking, showering under a waterfall, looking at cougar tracks, and cooking dehydrated meals over portable burners. One night the Scouts awakened to the sight of hundreds of daddy longlegs mounded together in vibrating heaps.
“We still don’t know where they came from or what they were all doing in one place like that,” Floyd Holdman, the team coach (equivalent to a Scoutmaster) said.
But of all the sights along the way, the Scouts were most impressed by Hamblin Arch.
“How can you not be impressed by something that big?” Shriedhar asked, and the others wondered with him about what hand could have sculpted scenery so monumental.
“You get an almost reverent feeling down there, wondering where it all came from,” Brad said. “It makes you feel so small.”
Brother Holdman reminded his boys of the scripture in Alma 39:44, “All things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it.”
“Yeah.” Willie nodded his head. Floyd is his father, so Willie is used to hearing him quote scriptures. But this passage seemed to mean more out where nature is so prominent. “I guess that’s right,” Willie added. “You sure feel that way when you see all these rocks. And think how long it took for the wind and rain to make an arch. It’s kind of like God is making sculptures, beautiful things for us to enjoy. This is like part of his art gallery.”
Finally the team arrived at the Escalante River.
“On the way, we had to tie ropes to our packs and lower them over cliffs by the waterfalls. Then we had to find our own way down,” Rob explained. “Sometimes on a short cliff we’d just jump down. On one of the highest cliffs, somebody had built a ladder and left it.”
“We’d been wandering around because we couldn’t find a way down,” Willie said. “Then we saw a sign scratched in the rock, ‘Ladder this way,’ with an arrow.”
“If I could meet the guy who built that ladder,” Brad said, “I’d sure tell him thanks!”
That night, the group camped away from river banks where water might rise, unrolling their sleeping bags on higher ground. The precaution paid off.
“We got up the next morning and looked at where we had planned to camp,” Brother Holdman said. “The water had risen a foot. If we had stayed there we would have been wet.”
It was a long, hard hike to make it all the way out the next day, but after coming in, going out would seem anticlimactic. And everyone was eager to make the additional stops at Lake Powell, Hole-in-the-Rock, and Dance Hall Rock. “It’s only 50 miles to Hole-in-the-Rock, once you hike out from Coyote Gulch,” Brother Holdman explained.
“Thinking about the additional things we would see kept us going,” Brad said, “but after five days of dehydrated food, so did the idea of eating the treats we’d left in the car.”
By 1:00 P.M., four hot, tired young men and one exhausted adult leader were snacking on candy bars, then relaxing in a car rolling down the highway.
“If you think you had it bad hiking out of Coyote Gulch, imagine what the pioneers went through,” Brother Holdman said. “The group that went through Hole-in-the-Rock took six months to go 300 miles, through all kinds of country even rougher than this. And they had to build trails and move wagons and cattle over mountains and through canyons.”
The words took on a deeper meaning when the young men actually stood at Hole-in-the-Rock, where in 1879 colonizers dropped down into Glen Canyon through a narrow gorge to cross the Colorado River.
“If you ever come this way it will scare you to death to look down it,” wrote one settler, Elizabeth Morris Decker. “It is about a mile from the top down to the river and it is almost strait down, the cliffs on each side are five hundred ft. high and there is just room enough for a wagon to go down … They put the brake on and rough locked the hind wheels and had a big rope fastened to the wagon and about ten men holding back on it and then they went down like they would smash everything. I’ll never forget that day. … [My son] looked back and cried and asked me how we would get back home” (Miller, David E., Hole-in-the-Rock, University of Utah Press, Salt Lake City, 1966, p. 116).
Shriedhar, Rob, Willie, and Brad had probably never thought so much about the sacrifices others made for the Church as they did looking out at the waters of Lake Powell that day. Although the lake water now covers much of the area the pioneers traversed, the courage of the moment was evident.
“I don’t even know how they did it,” Rob said. “I’d rather go 500 miles the other way.”
“You can still see the stairs they carved in the solid rock,” Willie said. “You can see blasting holes they drilled when they tried to make the opening wider.”
Shriedhar said, “It’s not something I’d want to do. All those rocks and steps to try to take wagons and cattle down. It’s so steep. And that’s just to get you to the bottom where there’s more work to do.”
Later however, as the group visited Dance Hall Rock, they glimpsed another side of pioneer life—recreation. Dance Hall Rock is a huge sandstone formation shaped like a natural amphitheater with a smooth floor. With three fiddlers in the company to supply music, pioneers spent several pleasant evenings dancing. Even today, some expeditions to the area will provide music so their participants can enjoy the acoustics.
“You think of pioneers just being in wagons all the time,” Rob said. “It’s nice to know they danced and had fun too.”
After the stop at Dance Hall Rock, it was time to head home.
During their five-day journey through Coyote Gulch, the members of Varsity Scout Team 6475 hiked enough to qualify for a merit badge, and they were proud of what they’d accomplished. But they also had learned a little bit about history and gained some empathy for colonizing pioneers.
“The next time I hear the names of those places I’ll pay more attention,” Willie said, “because now I’ve been there.”

One incident in the Prophet’s life had a powerful influence on me as a young man:
“At a late hour of the night Joseph was lying down and slumbering heavily from weariness. … A few moments later an infuriated mob burst the door open and … seized him and were dragging him from the house when Emma screamed. …
“… A group gathered … to hold a council. … After the council was concluded, the leading mobocrats declared that they would not kill him but would strip him naked and whip and tear his flesh. … They thrust a reeking tar paddle into his face and attempted to force it down his throat. …
“After they left Joseph, he attempted to rise, but fell back again from pain and exhaustion. He succeeded, however, in tearing the tar away from his face so that he could breathe freely. …
“Securing some covering for his person, the Prophet entered the house, and spent the night in cleansing his body and dressing his wounds. …
“The next morning, being the Sabbath, the people assembled at the usual hour of worship. With them came some of the mobbers. …
“With his flesh all bruised and scarred, Joseph went to the meeting and stood before the congregation, facing his assailants of the previous night calmly and manfully. He preached a powerful sermon and on the same day baptized three believers into the Church.”1