Gospel Story Finder

The Relief Society program can help us reach even the needs we may not know exist. I was told about one visiting teacher who, in a caring attitude, sent the sisters she visits a Christmas card. When she went to preparation meeting, the message teacher asked the visiting teachers to send a Christmas card to each of the sisters they visit and include their personal note with the card.
The visiting teacher was perplexed. She had already sent the cards, but she did not write the personal note. After debating with herself for some time she finally determined to send another card, this one with a personal note.
When she visited her assigned sisters in January, she went first to the home of an inactive member. When she entered the room, she could see that all evidences of Christmas had been put away—except for one card standing alone on a small table. It was the card with the note in it. The sister explained that she had left the card out to show her nonmember friends that members of her church go the second mile. She said that she had told them this before, but now she had some tangible evidence they could see.
When the visiting teacher went back the next month, the house was tidy, the furniture dusted, and the card still stood on the small table. The next month, the card was still there—and the next, and the next.
The visiting teacher had not realized that this inactive sister needed a positive manifestation of concern. She also learned how much even small acts of kindness do matter.

Sunday, July 2, 1972, at the close of testimony meeting, he stood with the congregation of his home ward. Tears filled his eyes as he sang, with them “The Star Spangled Banner.”
In the afternoon there was a visit to family members.
And in the evening, as he sat in the home of a beloved daughter, his head bowed quietly forward, and he died.
There was no suffering. “He was here one minute, and gone the next. It was very peaceful,” the family reported.
So ended the mortal life of a prophet of God.
For President Joseph Fielding Smith it was an appropriate last day on earth: joyful worship with his brothers and sisters in the gospel; nourishing and enjoying the family circle; a quiet, happy acceptance of the Lord’s call to further service.
It had been that way all his life.

Katie raised her hand. She had a very good question. Feeling OK to stray from the flow of the lesson, the teacher directed the class to a scripture that would help with an answer. Another hand rose with another question. Again, we turned the pages of the Book of Mormon for help with the answer. After the third time in this process, Katie raised her hand again. Almost before the teacher could call on her, she blurted out, “How do you know your scriptures so well? How can you find all that?”
The teacher thought for a moment. He said he was nothing special. He didn’t have a photographic memory, or even a very good one. And then he answered with another scripture: “By small and simple means are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). The teacher testified that he read his scriptures often. He read them daily. And years of daily scripture study add up.

Then a Brother Vance rose from his seat in the congregation. A large, strong, grandfatherly man who worked well with his hands, he related his thankfulness to the Lord for the growth of some lilac bushes that were most precious to his wife.
The bushes had grown so tall they blocked the sunlight to the Vances’ tiny home. Brother Vance told his wife he had to cut the bushes back to ground level and move the roots to a new location. She vigorously protested his decision, afraid the bushes would not survive. But he felt it was necessary.
He told of the painful but loving task of pruning the bushes, preparing the soil in the new location, and, finally, digging up the roots and planting them.
He described how every day he weeded, watered, and looked for signs of new life. The lack of new growth, he said, made him worried and concerned that he had destroyed his wife’s lovely bushes. The more he thought of his love for his eternal companion, the more feeling he developed for the roots he had nurtured in the earth.
Finally, early one morning, he was relieved to find green evidence that the roots were alive and growing. He brought his wife to see her lilacs and offered a prayer of thankfulness for the growing results of his work.

I had no problem attending church on Sunday, but I was not as enthusiastic about attending Primary because it was on Saturday morning at that time. When I was 10, Thelma came home one Saturday and told my other siblings about a great soccer game between the deacons and the Blazers (11-year-old Scouts). She pointed out how unfortunate it was that I had missed the game because I had not attended Primary. Needless to say, I went the following Saturday (with my soccer cleats on) and never missed it again.

For Cathy Antonsson of Helsingborig, Sweden, saying no was not always easy or pleasant.
“It was rough. It’s not easy, but you have to pay the price for who you are. Sometimes I cried my eyes out because I had to stay home. It was difficult because many people here just aren’t religious.
“I went to Rome for two weeks on a school trip. In Italy, they always offered us wine. They have wine with most of their meals, so my friends kept offering me wine, and I kept saying, ‘No, I don’t drink that.’
“My friends spent so much money on drinks. Everytime we went out, I would put the same amount of money in my purse that they spent on their drinks. Before we left, I went to an exclusive dress shop and bought a very expensive designer dress. All my friends were really surprised when they saw it and said, ‘Hey, how could you afford that?’ I told them what I had done and that that was one of the advantages of not drinking.”

And now, my brothers and sisters, I would like to tell you about another feature of this wonderful building. If I get a little personal and even a little sentimental, I hope you will forgive me.
I love trees. When I was a boy we lived on a farm in the summer, a fruit farm. Every year at this season we planted trees. I think I have never missed a spring since I was married, except for two or three years when we were absent from the city, that I have not planted trees, at least one or two—fruit trees, shade trees, ornamental trees, and spruce, fir, and pine among the conifers. I love trees.
Well, some 36 years ago I planted a black walnut. It was in a crowded area where it grew straight and tall to get the sunlight. A year ago, for some reason it died. But walnut is a precious furniture wood. I called Brother Ben Banks of the Seventy, who, before giving his full time to the Church, was in the business of hardwood lumber. He brought his two sons, one a bishop and the other recently released as a bishop and who now run the business, to look at the tree. From all they could tell it was solid, good, and beautiful wood. One of them suggested that it would make a pulpit for this hall. The idea excited me. The tree was cut down and then cut into two heavy logs. Then followed the long process of drying, first naturally and then kiln drying. The logs were cut into boards at a sawmill in Salem, Utah. The boards were then taken to Fetzer’s woodworking plant, where expert craftsmen designed and built this magnificent pulpit with that wood.
The end product is beautiful. I wish all of you could examine it closely. It represents superb workmanship, and here I am speaking to you from the tree I grew in my backyard, where my children played and also grew.
It is an emotional thing for me. I have planted another black walnut or two. I will be long gone before they mature. When that day comes and this beautiful pulpit has grown old, perhaps one of them will do to make a replacement. To Elder Banks and his sons, Ben and Bradley, and to the skilled workers who have designed and built this, I offer my profound thanks for making it possible to have a small touch of mine in this great hall where the voices of prophets will go out to all the world in testimony of the Redeemer of mankind.

There is yet another trial which, when endured well, can bring blessings in this life and blessings forever. Age and illness can test the best of us. My friend served as our bishop when my daughters were still at home. They speak of what they felt when he bore his simple testimony around campfires in the mountains. He loved them, and they knew it. He was released as our bishop. He had served as a bishop before in another state. Those I have met who were from his earlier ward remember him as my daughters do.
I visited him in his home from time to time to thank him and to give him priesthood blessings. His health began a slow decline. I can’t remember all the ailments he suffered. He needed surgery. He was in constant pain. Yet every time I visited him to give him comfort, he turned the tables; I always was the one comforted. His back and legs forced him to use a cane to walk. Yet there he was in church, always sitting near the door, where he could greet those arriving early, with a smile.
I will never forget the feeling of wonder and admiration which came over me when I opened the back door at home and saw him coming up our driveway. It was the day we put out our garbage cans to be picked up by city workers. I had put the can out in the morning. But there he was dragging my garbage can up the hill with one hand while he balanced himself with a cane in his other hand. He was giving me the help he thought I needed when he needed it far more than I did. And he was helping with a smile and without being asked.
I visited him when he finally had to be cared for by nurses and doctors. He was lying in a hospital bed, still in pain and still smiling. His wife had called me to say that he was getting weaker. My son and I gave him a priesthood blessing as he lay in the bed with tubes and bottles connected to him. I sealed the blessing with a promise that he would have time and the strength to do all that God had for him to do in this life, to pass every test. He stretched out his hand to grasp mine as I stepped away from his bed to leave. I was surprised at the strength of his grip and the firmness in his voice when he said, “I’m going to make it.”
I left thinking that I would see him again soon. But the phone call came within a day. He was gone to the glorious place where he will see the Savior, who is his perfect judge and will be ours. As I spoke at his funeral, I thought of the words of Paul when he knew that he would go to that place where my neighbor and friend has gone:
“But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.
“For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.
“I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:
“Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.”7
I have confidence that my neighbor made it through his trial and will face his judge with a joyous smile.

I also understand Joseph Smith’s wanting to be alone as he prayed. On another occasion a few years later, I was in a similar situation, this time with a young man I didn’t know. I was nervous about praying in front of him, so I waited for him to go to bed so I could kneel and pray without him watching me.
But he wouldn’t go to bed, so I finally knelt and prayed and got into my sleeping bag. When he got into bed a few minutes later, he said, “Lynn, do you always pray like that?”
“Yes, I try to. If I ever hurry and get into bed forgetting to pray, I get out of bed and kneel and pray.”
He said, “I should do that.”

A couple of weeks ago, I was riding in the car with one of my sons and he turned and asked me, "Dad, what do you think I need to do to be a better man?" I was humbled and was grateful that my son was asking for my advice and counsel. I was honored that he was following the pattern of Nephi in asking me, his Father, what I thought he should do. As I gave him advice and counsel, as a Father, I felt an overwhelming responsibility to follow the promptings of the spirit as we counseled together about his life.

For instance, some years ago Sister Williams, who was then a member of the presidency of that young women’s organization of the entire Church—and at that time she was the editor of the question-answer page in the Deseret News—told me this story:
She said that one of our Mormon girls married and went east, and when her neighbors found that she was a Mormon they all wanted to know what the Mormons believed. So she wrote to Sister Williams, and she said, “Please write and tell me what we believe. I know the first two principles are that you shouldn’t use tea or coffee or play cards.” Now can you imagine anybody getting much of a thrill out of membership in the Church if that’s all that he knows about it?

For example, just weeks after our oldest daughter, Elizabeth, returned from the Honduras Tegucigalpa Mission in December of 2019, our family set out on a vacation. In the Salt Lake City International Airport, we noticed a young woman with a beautiful, tentative smile and sturdy shoes. She was standing in the busy terminal all alone.

Our daughters ran to the young woman and asked what they already knew: “Are you a missionary?”

They learned that she was traveling to the Guatemala Missionary Training Center as the only North American to join a group of central and South American missionaries. We also discovered that she would serve in the Honduras Tegucigalpa Mission — the very mission in which Elizabeth had been serving just two weeks earlier. This sister missionary, who had a layover in California on the way to Central America, was also on our flight. [15]

As we sat in the terminal awaiting our flight, my husband and I watched as our daughters talked with their new friend about missionary work and Honduras and their testimonies.

I was filled with a sweet knowledge of the Lord’s love for His children. My oldest daughter was desperately missing her mission and was now enthusiastically sharing her experiences. Our second daughter was eagerly awaiting her 19th birthday and the opportunity to serve herself. And our new missionary friend was no longer alone on the first step of her journey.

I should not have been surprised — but I was — that as we boarded the plane, we discovered that our new friend had a seat next to my daughter who had just returned from her very mission.

At the time, the Church had 67,000 missionaries serving in 399 missions [16] throughout the world, yet somehow, we had connected. It was a miracle.

Our family did not see this missionary again for three months. In March 2020 we glimpsed her in a picture on the Honduras Tegucigalpa Mission Facebook page – standing at the airport with dozens of other missionaries who were returning home because of the pandemic.

It was not long before our daughters received an email from our missionary friend. “With everything happening with the Coronavirus, all of the missionaries from my mission are returning to their home countries …,” she wrote. “I am O, SO grateful for the three months I was able to have in Honduras, and I am heartbroken that I can’t stay there preaching the gospel. But I know that the Lord’s will is to have me serve somewhere else, and that I can still fulfill my purpose of helping others come unto Christ wherever I serve.” [17]

Our missionary friend knew how to let God prevail in her life. She knew the Lord was aware of her and she was willing to receive His miracles.

A short time later her example became very personal to us.

Our second daughter, Kathryn, entered the mission field as the pandemic was intensifying. Called to Brazil, she was reassigned in the Ohio Cincinnati Mission — where she served for eight glorious months. Then she embarked, all alone, on her own missionary journey to complete her service in the Brazil Fortaleza East Mission. Kathryn arrived in São Paulo, Brazil, on the morning of May 1, 2021. She called me while waiting to clear customs in one of the busiest airports in South America.

She asked what to do if she could not find her luggage. I listened as she spoke to an airline employee. She had studied Portuguese during home MTC before her reassignment. Now she tried to speak it after months without language training in Ohio. I do not speak Portuguese; still, I knew with certainty that what my daughter was speaking was not it.

I prayed with her and then, as she hung up the phone, fell to my knees and prayed again. She needed to find her luggage, get through customs, navigate the airport, change airlines and fly to Fortaleza.

The entire list felt overwhelming.

It wasn’t long, however, before I received a second, very short phone call. “It is going to be OK,” my daughter reported.

She had somehow found her luggage and cleared customs. Then, just as she entered the public area of the São Paulo airport, a Brazilian woman addressed her in English. “Sister, where is your companion?”

The woman was an employee from the Church’s area office. She helped my daughter navigate the airport and check in at a new airline, and walked with her to the security line in the terminal where she would catch her next flight. [18]

Their connection was a miracle.

My daughter’s travel to Brazil is one example of what happens when we let the Lord prevail in our lives — when we believe He is with us, that He directs our path, even when we do not see the path.

After earning a degree in social work, Katelyn Ray, 27, from California, USA, couldn’t settle on a career path but felt drawn to humanitarian aid. She has seen God’s hand guiding her “every step of the way,” leading her to now be the program director for a non-profit organization dedicated to fighting global poverty.
Katelyn has worked with refugees in Greece and victims of abuse in Nepal, who, she explains, are “going through the worst moments of their life. Just being there with them, there’s not a lot I can do. I can’t change the governments or the policies, but the one thing I can do is to love them.” And no matter who she’s with, she sees how important it is for others to feel God’s love. “If I can be a vehicle for that, I’ll feel like I’ve done a pretty good job, that God’s happy with me.”
Her experiences help her see other people’s problems with a broader perspective. “As young adults, it’s easy to get caught up in our own issues,” she says. “We’re so focused on, ‘What’s my career?’ and ‘What am I doing for school?’ and ‘How am I going to find my eternal companion?’ Those are all good things, but if we could somehow look outside of ourselves, I think we’ll find what we really are searching for.”
“If we just remain close to the Spirit, God is going to guide and direct us, and then we’ll be able to do all the good we want to do,” Katelyn says. “I think everyone wants to do good, even if that’s just in your community or within your family. Every little thing, whether it’s uplifting a friend or being there for a family member, just having those small moments of knowing you did what God wanted you to do in that moment will make a powerful impact on your life and others.”

A few years ago, I spoke to a friend who had attended a church meeting earlier that day and enquired how it was. The response was negative; apparently the talks were poor and the meeting not at all edifying. Later that day I spoke to another friend who had attended the same meeting and I made the same enquiry. ‘It was wonderful’ was the response.
I have often pondered about the experience of these two friends. Both attended the same meeting and heard the same talks, yet one had left spiritually hungry, and the other completely nourished. It’s possible that the subject of the talks simply resonated more with my second friend. However, I imagine it was much more than that. My second friend had gone spiritually prepared to listen with an open heart and with a desire to act on that which they heard.
Certainly, those assigned to speak or teach should diligently seek the guidance of the Spirit in relation to the topic, the content, and the presentation of their instruction. My experience though is that those attending have at least equal responsibility to prepare themselves spiritually so that they can be edified and to possess a willingness to act on that which they hear.
When I read the Book of Mormon, I feel the great power of the words of Nephi, of King Benjamin, of Alma, Mosiah and others. At general conference, that same power is present from our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson and the other leaders and general officers of the Church.
Consider just a few instructions from general conference in recent years:
“But, my dear brothers and sisters, so many wonderful things are ahead. In coming days, we will see the greatest manifestations of the Savior’s power that the world has ever seen. Between now and the time He returns ‘with power and great glory,’ He will bestow countless privileges, blessings, and miracles upon the faithful.”2
“I am learning that Heavenly Father is more interested in my growth as a disciple of Jesus Christ than He is with my comfort. I may not always want it to be that way—but it is!
“Living in convenience does not bring power. The power we need to withstand the heat of our day is the Lord’s power, and His power flows through our covenants with Him.”3
“Nothing opens the heavens quite like the combination of increased purity, exact obedience, earnest seeking, daily feasting on the words of Christ in the Book of Mormon, and regular time committed to temple and family history work.”4
“The Savior loves to restore what you cannot restore; He loves to heal wounds you cannot heal; He loves to fix what has been irreparably broken; He compensates for any unfairness inflicted on you; and He loves to permanently mend even shattered hearts.”5
What wonderful instruction, edification, and invitations to act from these and the hundreds of other inspired talks. As we participate in general conference, either in person, through live streams, or reading or watching the talks afterwards, I invite each of us to spiritually prepare to be edified, and to be willing to act on that which we hear. Just as King Benjamin counselled the people of his time, so will the leaders of today guide us through these precarious and tumultuous times, building our faith in Jesus Christ and inviting us to make choices which will keep us safely on the covenant pathway.

Last year, I damaged my ACL so badly that I had to get major knee surgery. When I found out the surgery was one of the most intensive knee surgeries, I was terrified! I asked for a priesthood blessing and fasted. My family members fasted for me too. My recovery ended up being smooth and quick, and I was so grateful for that.
Fasting can be hard, but for me, the blessings from fasting always outweigh the hunger. It’s a small sacrifice we get to make, and the blessings you receive from giving up two meals and donating fast offerings are totally worth it, no matter how inconvenient it seems.
In this world, we like instant gratification. But if you fast consistently and do other things while you fast, like read your scriptures or work on Personal Progress or Duty to God, you dedicate time to the Savior. As you’re consistent with that, you will be blessed. NE
Elaina K., 17, Washington, USA

One Saturday my wife and I realized that we did not have enough money to take public transportation to church the next day, and there was no way to make a cash withdrawal. Our tithing was in a donation envelope ready to be given to the bishop. We began to talk about how we would travel to church. If we used the tithing money to pay for transportation, we felt that the Lord would understand; however, we decided that it was not right.
The other possibility was to not go to church, and again we thought that the Lord would understand since we had never missed before. However, if that happened, we would not be able to take our tithing to the bishop, so that possibility was also ruled out.
Trying to be faithful, we decided to leave earlier than usual and walk to church. We left on that beautiful Sabbath day for the chapel, which was about three miles (4.8 km) from our home. For our four children (the oldest was six), it was like a party, and they enjoyed running and playing along the way.
When we reached a certain point on a wide and dangerous street, I heard the Spirit tell me, “You should cross now.” I told my wife, and she responded that it was dangerous because that part of the street began to curve, blocking our view of oncoming cars. I responded that I felt we should cross there, so we quickly crossed, my wife and I each taking two children. Just as we stepped onto the sidewalk, a car stopped on that side, and the driver asked, “Are you going to church?”
The driver was a brother who did not belong to our ward, but I had met him before because I had visited his ward. We responded affirmatively, and he offered to drive us there. As we got in the car, the brother explained that he never took this route and he was only passing that way because his business partner had lost the keys to the office and he was taking his keys to his partner.
I thought to myself that this hadn’t happened by chance. The Lord knew we needed transportation to go to church. Our tithing was in my pocket, and it provided us the opportunity to teach our children about the blessings that come from paying tithing. We arrived at the chapel earlier than ever but happy and grateful. We participated in all the meetings and did not tell anybody about what had happened.
Summers in São Paulo are very hot, especially at midday, when our Church meetings ended. We were preparing to return when someone came up and asked us, “Do you have someone to take you back?” We responded that we didn’t, and he said to us, “Do you want me to take you?” We accepted his offer, and my wife and I looked at each other with emotional smiles.
More than once the Lord had given us a great blessing for our obedience.

My two youngest sons learned this for themselves a year or so ago when our stake president issued an invitation to all stake members to participate in a special fast. A member of our stake needed an organ transplant and was undergoing a difficult, critical surgery. The needed organ was being flown from Hawaii, and the lengthy surgery was delayed. Meanwhile, my boys fasted. Ten-year-old Spencer had a basketball game that day, and he threw himself around the court displaying great defensive hustle. When the game ended, although he was hungry, he remembered that he was fasting and didn't complain. The next morning, the boys checked with their dad for a progress report on our friend. When told that we had no news yet, they refused to eat, insisting on fasting until they knew this man was out of surgery. It was a sweet moment for us as a family. Nathan and Spencer could feel the power of participating with other stake members in a holy purpose, and it was tangible to them. They learned that willing participation blesses us and others in ways that may not even be visible, just felt. They learned it is an absolute privilege to participate.

A few weeks ago I was called to the County Hospital in Salt Lake City by a mother. I didn’t know her. She said her boy was dying from polio and asked if I would come down and give that boy a blessing. So I picked up a young bishop whom I generally take with me, for I think his faith is greater than mine, and I always like him along. We went down there and here was this young lad in an iron lung, unconscious, his face rather a blackish color, with a tube in his throat, and they said he had one lower down in his abdomen. He had been flown in from an outlying community. The mother said to me, “This is an unusual boy, not because he’s my child, but he is an unusual boy.” I think he was eight or nine years of age.
After they put the usual coverings on us we went in and we blessed that boy. It was one of those occasions when I knew as I laid my hands upon that lad that he was an unusual boy, and that he had faith. Having faith in his faith, I blessed him to get well and promised him he would. I never heard anymore about him until last Saturday. I was on my way to Murray to conference. I dropped in at the County Hospital, and I asked if I might see the lad. The nurse said, “Certainly. Walk right down the hall.”
As I walked down the hall, out came the boy running to meet me. He ran up and asked, “Are you Brother Cowley?” And I said, “Yes.” He said, “I want to thank you for that prayer.” He added, “I was unconscious then, wasn’t I?” I replied, “You certainly were.” He said, “That’s the reason I don’t recognize you.” Then he asked, “Come on in my room; I want to talk to you.” He was an unusual boy.
Well, we went in the room. He still had a tube in his throat. I said, “How long are you going to have that tube there?” He said, “Oh, two weeks. Two more weeks and then I’m all well. How about another blessing?” So I said, “Certainly.” I blessed him again, and then I was in a hurry. I wanted to get out to my conference. But he stopped me and asked, “Hey, how about my partner in the next bed?” There was a young fellow about sixteen or seventeen. I said, “What do you mean?” He said, “Don’t go out without blessing him. He’s my partner.” I said, “Sure.” Then I asked the boy, “Would you like a blessing?” He said, “Yes, sir. I’m a teacher in the Aaronic Priesthood in my ward.” I blessed him, and then my little friend left and brought another fellow in. Here was another partner. And I blessed him.
Now, except ye believe as a child, you can’t receive these blessings. We have to have the faith of a child in order to believe in these things, especially when you reach college age and your minds are so full of skepticism and doubt. I guess there are some things that you should doubt, but you can become as little children in these things. Miracles are commonplace, brothers and sisters.

When I was called to serve as a General Authority, I had an interview with President Faust. He noticed that I was concerned because I felt inadequate for such a call. In his tender way, President Faust told me, “Athos, be yourself. Be yourself.” That night I lay awake in bed, thinking of my new responsibilities and of President Faust’s words. And I prayed. I asked myself, Who am I? And the answer came as clear and bright as the dawn of that brand-new day. I am, like each one of you, a child of God who wants to obey the Lord and serve wherever He sends me and thus be a better child of our Heavenly Father and a faithful member of the true Church of Jesus Christ.

Perhaps a simple story from the Compton family will help illustrate this point. When our most amazing, wonderful, and talented daughter, Marissa (I was required to use these adjective in order to tell this story) was 11 or 12, she came to me one evening and asked if she could have her ears pierced. The thought occurred to me that it would be unwise to answer her. Marissa was entering a period of adolescence, and it was important for her to grow more thoughtful about the influence that her peers and culture had on her. Having already traveled down that path some years previously, her mother and I knew the kind of growth and development that would be beneficial in Marissa's life at this time. As her anxious parent/teacher, I could have leapt forward with a detailed answer. Instead, I invited Marissa to try and answer her own question by giving it some additional thought. I challenged her to compose a thesis and prepare to defend it. A week or two later she retuned with her this that concluded that it was okay to have her ears pierced because of the human need for artistic expression and cultural experimentation. I remember commenting that her perspective positioned the body as a an artist's canvas and piercing ears was a way to paint. We had a lively discussion that extended to the appropriate number of ear piercings, tattooing, and other subjects. This process formed an invitation for Marissa to think through her question more thoroughly instead of relying on her father for answers to questions that she had not yet fully formed in her mind and heart. Think of what Marissa would have lost if I had simply answered her question and told her what to do. We would have missed the opportunity to have a rich conversation that was instrumental to our relationship and to her growth and development.