Gospel Story Finder

As I attempt to teach you today what I have since learned about making decisions, I’m going to build off the story of how I ultimately decided to ask my wife to marry me! First, a quick introduction. My wife Katty and I met in high school cross-country and reconnected years later to train for a marathon.

Often, I would sleep through my alarm clock for our morning runs and would awake to the sound of her knocking on my window. After a long summer of running together every morning, we began attending different colleges. We ran a half-marathon together, and I realized I wanted our relationship to be more than just friendship. Two weeks later, we finished the full marathon.

A few months following the marathon, Katty started to tutor me in calculus during my finals, which gave us a chance to spend time together. We started dating over winter break and continued long-distance when school resumed, meeting every weekend. As our relationship progressed, we extensively discussed marriage. After weeks of consideration, we excitedly bought a wedding ring that would arrive in three weeks. Even though we bought a ring, we were still seeking revelatory confirmation that it was the correct decision. This process helped me identify four pillars of personal revelation and decision-making that I want to outline throughout my talk today.

To illustrate this point, let’s return to the story of how my wife and I made the decision to get married. Remember that we had just purchased a wedding ring. Over the next few weeks, we diligently sought confirmation from Heavenly Father that we should marry each other. We began wondering and doubting if getting married to each other was the right thing to do. We prayed, fasted, read scriptures, attended the temple, and spent time in clean, neat, quiet places seeking that direction. We continued to study it out in our minds by putting time and effort into this critical decision. Yet, no answers came despite our heartfelt prayers. This lack of direction was extremely difficult for both of us. We were in love and really wanted to get married. Why wasn’t Heavenly Father answering our prayers? Why were we not receiving an answer? I did not know what to do or how to proceed, and yet I had a wedding ring for Katty! I didn’t know if it was right or wrong to marry her. Finally, I was discussing this with my mom. She said, “Do you love her?” to which I replied, “Yes, very much.” She replied, “Then marry her.” This experience helped me realize that I had already received my answer. This gave me the courage to proceed with trust.

To propose, I bought her a set of new scriptures with her first name and my last name embossed on them. We went to the temple to read scriptures as we had done several times before.

Sitting on “our” bench, I gave her the new scriptures and asked her to marry me.

She was able to confidently say yes because she, too, had put in the extensive work to study it out in her mind.

This story illustrates the need to “proceed with trust,” which is our last pillar of making critical decisions correctly.

We went to church in Port Harcourt from Omoku, our hometown. It was about two-hour drive. We did this every Sunday until sometime in 2001 when the Port Harcourt West Stake Presidency authorized me and family to stay back and worship in Omoku under the supervision of the Rumueme Ward. We reactivated some members of the Church who resided in our town and surrounding towns, two of whom were old schoolmates at the university. We started worshipping in my one-room apartment and later moved into a three-rooms flat in the city center where, on the 9th of January 2005, the Church was officially organized with me as the first branch president and my wife as first counsellor in the Relief Society. We had 36 members of our branch.

We had a strong group of young men in our ward, but our son Matthew gravitated to a nonmember who shared his love for cars and anything mechanical. Unfortunately, this young man came from a family that did not value religion. His parents allowed drinking and smoking in their home and didn’t believe that being morally clean was important.
Matthew had earned the top rank in Scouting, but he did not participate in the awards meeting because he had stopped living Scouting standards. I gathered all his Scouting awards and made a display case. Then I put it away, hoping that one day it would be of value to him. By the time he was 16, Matthew was smoking, drinking, and doing drugs. He dropped out of school and moved in with his girlfriend. For a couple of years, we rarely saw him.
We were devastated. We didn’t know if he would ever return to his family and faith, but we decided to follow Alma’s example in dealing with his wayward son. Alma continued to love his son and prayed with faith that he would “be brought to the knowledge of the truth” (Mosiah 27:14).
We prayed constantly that the Lord would intervene in Matthew’s life, and we took every opportunity to express by word and action how much we loved him. When he would come home, we did not say anything he might interpret as criticism or judgment. We simply expressed our joy at seeing him.
One day Matthew came home and said he wanted to talk. He said he had met a girl at a party who had questions about the Church. Before he could tell her that he no longer knew the answers, words started coming out of his mouth. He found himself answering her questions as fast as she asked them. Matthew said he did not remember having learned the things he spoke, but he knew his words were true. He wondered why he was living as he was when he still believed the gospel.
After three days of soul-searching, he decided to leave behind the life he had been leading. He had come home to ask for help in starting over.
Matthew called a cousin in another state who had overcome similar difficulties and asked if he could stay with him. His cousin agreed, and Matthew began attending Church meetings with him and met with the bishop to get help with the repentance process. He felt love and support and became active in the Church.
In time he met a lovely, righteous young woman. They fell in love and were married in the temple.
When their first child was born, I came for a visit and brought the display case I had made of his Scouting awards. He was thrilled and proudly hung it in a prominent place in his home.
An angel did not appear to our son, as had happened to Alma the Younger. But Matthew’s return to the truth was just as miraculous.

We heard of the passing away of sister Rebecca’s father at their native place, Tiruchi. Members of the ward visited to offer their condolences to them and to their extended family.
As ministering brethren, Brother Raja Ganapathy and I were able to offer a small prayer of comfort and safe travel for their family who were traveling to Trichy. During the same day, Brother Karthikeyan, and Brother Raja Ganapathi, and I decided to travel to Trichy to represent our ward and offer our silent comfort to the family. This sudden travel arrangement had to be made without any bus or train reservations. We made our way to reach Trichy by travelling in various trains and buses. After many hours of travel, we joined their family around midnight.
This travel was purely to give moral support to their family members at their time of need. The next day in the early morning, even much before their family made their traditional funeral service at an Roman Catholic Church, we members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-­day Saints gathered together and were able to comfort Sister Rebecca’s family by singing our Church hymns, and a wonderful prayer was offered in Tamil by Brother Raja Ganapathy.
“Ministering is always needed. We may not know when, but we must always be prepared to minister to others.”

Jesus Christ told the Prophet Joseph Smith many important things to help us. The Church set up a printing press to print Jesus’s words. That way people would be able to read them.
One day, a group of angry men came. They destroyed the printing press. They threw the pages of the scriptures out into the street.
Two sisters named Mary Elizabeth and Caroline Rollins saw what happened. They ran and gathered the pages in their arms.
The girls hid in a cornfield until the men left. They had saved the scriptures! Those scriptures later became part of the Doctrine and Covenants.

Nikko looked in the mirror and shook his shaggy head and roared. Then he picked up his long tail and flicked it like a whip.
“Honey, are you dressed yet?” His mother called from the kitchen. “It’s time to go.”
Nikko padded into the kitchen, carrying his tail in his hand.
“Please don’t eat me, brave king of the jungle,” Mother begged with a smile.
The lion bared his teeth and roared.
“Let’s get going, or you’ll be late for the school costume party,” Mother said. The lion crept to the car and then pounced inside.
* * * * * *
“Have fun at school, my brave lion,” Mother said as he bounded out of the car.
“Why, Nikko, don’t you look like a brave jungle beast!” His teacher smiled at him as he entered the classroom. “Go sit in the circle with the other children, and I’ll be there in a minute to tell you a story.”
The lion crept toward the other children. Nikko the little boy had always wanted to be Lissa’s friend, but he had been afraid to talk to her. But Nikko the brave lion was not afraid. He looked for Lissa and crouched down beside her. She was dressed like a princess in a sparkling gown. “You look pretty,” the lion whispered.
Princess Lissa smiled and tapped the lion’s shaggy head with her magic wand. “And I name you Nikko, the Wise Ruler of the Jungle.”
The lion pawed the air and roared softly.
* * * * * *
The next morning, Nikko stood in front of his mirror and roared. He shook his shaggy head and flicked his long tail.
“Honey, are you dressed yet?” Mother called.
Nikko padded into the kitchen with his tail in his hand.
Mother was rinsing the dishes at the sink. When she turned around, she exclaimed, “Oh! Oh my!”
The lion looked up and roared.
“You shouldn’t wear your costume today,” Mother said. “Yesterday was costume day. It’s all over now.”
“But I’m brave when I’m a lion,” Nikko told her.
“You’re my brave boy, even without your lion costume. Remember how you helped take care of your Grandpa when he came home from the hospital?”
“But my teacher thinks I’m a brave jungle beast when I’m wearing my lion costume.”
Mother slipped the furry mane off Nikko’s head. “Remember how you felt when you asked if you could help Uncle Jack build his deck? You don’t need a lion’s costume to feel brave.”
* * * * * *
Nikko went to school in his regular clothes. He could not flick his tail or shake his shaggy head or roar.
At recess, Nikko saw Lissa standing at the door to the playground. He still thought she looked pretty, even without her sparkling gown and magic wand. “You’d better go get your jacket and put it on,” Nikko warned her. “It’s going to rain.”
Lissa looked out at the dark sky. “Do you know what, Nikko? You’re wise even when you’re not dressed up like a lion.”
Brave, wise Nikko shook his head, roared softly, and padded out to the playground with his new friend.

By August 1830, Parley P. Pratt had moved to Ohio, married, and worked hard to turn his land into a beautiful farm. But in studying the scriptures, Parley began to feel that the Lord wanted him to become a preacher. He and his wife sold their farm and headed by boat for Albany, New York, where they had friends. While on board, Parley felt a need to leave the boat and travel by foot.
At Newark, New York, he set off, leaving his wife to continue to Albany alone. He soon met a Mr. Hamblin, who told him of a book said to have been discovered and translated by a young man named Joseph Smith. The next morning Parley went to the Hamblin home to see the book. He wrote, “I read all day; eating was a burden, … I preferred reading to sleep.
“As I read, the spirit of the Lord was upon me, and I knew and comprehended that the book was true. … I soon determined to see the young man who had been the instrument of its discovery and translation.”
Immediately Parley went to Palmyra, New York, to find Joseph Smith. When he got there, he learned that Joseph had moved to Pennsylvania. Parley met the prophet’s brother Hyrum, however, and talked with him throughout the night about the Book of Mormon and the restoration of the gospel. A few days later Parley P. Pratt was baptized in Seneca Lake.

Dressed in red Light the World t-shirts, volunteers took to the streets of South Beach and the Durban harbour to clean.

This clean-up was in collaboration with the local government of Ethekwini and Gagasi FM, a local radio station in KwaZulu-Natal.

The cleaning campaign was part of the city’s ongoing efforts ofto keep the streets of Ethekwini clean, while creating an awareness on the proper disposal of waste.

With the cleaning spots identified, and the pickup truck arranged, members of the Church, Ethekwini Municipality and Gagasi FM with brooms on the one hand and refuse bags in the other, swept through the streets of South Beach and Durban harbour.

Tons of clothing items, plastics, polystyrene food packaging, and beverage bottles were collected.

Then it was Christmas Eve. My own family of young children and teenagers were just finishing our annual Christmas pageant—complete with scriptures, carols, costumes, a real-live baby playing the part of the Christ child, a three-year-old Mary, a six-year-old Joseph, an angel, a shepherd, and a Wise Man. (I always somehow end up with the role of the donkey.)
There was a knock at the door. It was Santa Claus! In living color! He ho-ho-hoed himself into the living room, made a big fuss over each child, reached into his enormous sack, and pulled out a gift for each member of the family. As he did so, I noticed a vague resemblance between Santa and a member of our ward.
Then he wished us all a Merry Christmas and was off. Two of the youngest children were determined to see the reindeer for themselves, and they raced out to the front porch. But Santa must have parked his sleigh down the street somewhere. We watched and listened to his sleigh bells jingle as he trotted merrily through the neighborhood and disappeared into the snowy darkness.

Mothers, can you see how essential you are in teaching this truth to your children? As you encircle your children with your love, they will catch glimpses of His love. President Gordon B. Hinckley urges us to “love the Lord [our] God, and love His Son, and be ever grateful for Their love for us. Whenever other love fades, there will be that shining, transcendent, everlasting love of God for each of us and the love of His Son, who gave His life” for us.

A mother who knows her relationship with God helps her children to know Him and to be encircled by His love. I was touched by the comments a daughter shared at the funeral of her 100-year-old mother: “When I was a teenager trying to plan my class schedule, I would come into the kitchen where Mother was ironing. I would present possible options for my studies. … She would listen to all of them. We would discuss the possibilities … and then she would say, ‘OK, Cathy, have you prayed about it?’ That was kind of embarrassing to me, and I would hesitate and then add, ‘Do you have to pray about everything?’ She answered simply, ‘I do.’”

This mother listened. She shared her faith in the Lord; she set an example; she shared her expectations for her daughter to return continually to the Lord. As we approach the Lord, we feel His love draw us closer. Mothers, teach your children to always include the Lord in their lives, and help them to recognize His loving influence.

I am reminded of a story President Packer told me about Sister and Elder Tuttle, a former member of the Seventy. The Tuttles had stopped to eat at a restaurant owned by a Greek proprietor who was struck by Sister’s Tuttle’s seemingly Greek profile. He said to them, “I’ll buy you dinner if you can tell me the greatest thing in the world.” They thought about it and said, “love.” The Greek man said “No. You can live without love. The greatest thing in the world is hope. You can’t live without hope.” Knowing his immigrant background, they sensed that he spoke from personal experience.

My wife, Alice Mae, and I were serving as senior missionaries in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA. We were in the next-to-last month of our mission when the degradation of my motor skills became too much to ignore. Following the advice of the mission doctor and nurse, I went to a local hospital.
I had an EKG and a CT scan. Then a neurologist met with me. She asked more questions and did more tests. Finally, to my surprise, she said, “Mr. Lemon, you have Parkinson’s disease.” It was not a diagnosis I expected, and it was certainly not a diagnosis that I wanted. But what could I do?
That was two years ago, and it started a process I have since grouped into four phases. I share them here hoping they may be helpful to others who are dealing with an unwelcome diagnosis. Here are some of the things I have learned.
I searched online. I bought some books. I met with another neurologist. I wanted to know what impact Parkinson’s disease (PD) might have on my life span and ability to function. As I gathered information, I also prayed for guidance. I knew that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ would help me to get the information and medical help I needed. I learned that PD doesn’t typically affect how long you live, but it does affect what you can do. It progresses differently from individual to individual. It gets worse over time. It is not curable.
Once the shock of the initial diagnosis passed, I gradually began to realize the disease was not going to go away. My wife and I talked about our future and what it would mean if I were to lose some of my mobility. What would happen if I couldn’t drive or walk? In one tender moment when I posed those questions to my dear wife, she answered simply and without hesitation, “Then I will take care of you.”
We were grateful we hadn’t waited to serve the Lord as full-time missionaries and that we had been able to serve while our health was still good. We were also grateful that we had moved into a smaller home with no stairs on the main floor, mostly hard floors rather than carpet, and grab bars near all the toilets and showers. We felt that the Lord had known we would need such a home someday and had prepared a way so that when we needed it, it was ready.
During the next few months, I spent a lot of time at home and had plenty of time to think. I grieved for the loss of the person I thought I would be in my later years. I grieved for the future that my wife and I had previously envisioned. I endured days of discouragement. I prayed a lot as my symptoms grew worse. My need to find positive ways of coping increased.
Then the Lord provided an unexpected source of support. My wife and I were called to be our ward’s welfare and self-reliance specialists. As part of our calling, we facilitated a group meeting on emotional resilience. I had not thought about needing the class personally. However, by the end of the first meeting, I thought, “Wow! This is for me!” We talked about avoiding negative thought patterns, being positive, controlling our feelings. It gave me some practical tools that, over time, helped me—and my wife as well—to develop a healthy attitude toward my disease.
I remember thinking one day, “If I was going to pick a disease for me, this would be the one.” Because at this point it doesn’t shorten my life, but it forces me to submit to the will of God. It’s given me no choice but to accept that, and that’s been a blessing. I am calmer, more at peace. I had always lived too much in the future, concerned about what the next chapter of my life would be. Parkinson’s disease has helped me to be content to live in the present, to do the good that I can do now. Gradually, I have learned to submit myself and my future to the Lord more completely and without reservation.
I studied scriptures that talk about growing from trials.1 I re-read talks and articles by Elder Neal A. Maxwell (1926–2004) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.2 I remembered an address in which Elder Richard G. Scott (1928–2015) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles counseled us in times of trial not to ask, “Why do I have to suffer this?” but rather “What am I to learn from this experience?”3
Throughout this process, I have found a level of peace, joy, and contentment that had previously eluded me. I’ve come to see that death and passing through the veil is just another “transfer” on my journey along the covenant path. It is part of God’s plan of happiness.
I made a small sign on my computer and put it on the wall of my home office where I see it every day. It says, “Be Good. Do Good. Be Content. Relax and Trust the Lord.”
Today, at this point in the progression of the disease, I carry on a fairly normal life. I can still drive a car. We were recently called as temple workers. There are things I can do and things that I can’t. I walk with a cane when I leave the house. I get emotional over small things but also have become more sensitive to the needs of others. I’m not sure how my future will unfold, but I have the reassurance that whatever happens, the Lord will help me to endure it well and to find joy. It’s been a good tutoring for me, and I don’t want to miss the lesson.4

Moving forward in life requires faith. That is part of the plan. President Packer shared this experience:

Shortly after I was called as a General Authority, I went to Elder Harold B. Lee for counsel. He listened very carefully to my problem and suggested that I see President David O. McKay. President McKay counseled me as to the direction I should go. I was very willing to be obedient but saw no way possible for me to do as he counseled me to do.

I returned to Elder Lee and told him that I saw no way to move in the direction I was counseled to go. He said, “The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning.” I replied that I would like to see at least a step or two ahead. Then came the lesson of a lifetime: “You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you.” Then he quoted these 18 words from the Book of Mormon:

“Dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith” [Ether 12:6].10

One night, while serving as a youth leader in my ward, I arrived at the church and was not surprised to find a group of young men playing basketball in the gym while they waited for opening exercises to begin. I was surprised, however, to see David. He was relatively new in the ward but had already demonstrated that attending Church-related activities was not a normal part of his routine. Coming to a Young Men activity was a big step.
David did a pretty good job of quietly easing into the group without being noticed—that is, until the basketball rebounded off the rim and went straight at him. He caught the ball and realized it was his turn to take a shot. He dribbled a few times and clumsily threw the ball up toward the hoop. It banged hard off the bottom of the rim and came right back at him, hitting him on the arms he had put up to protect his head. Everyone laughed, and so did David.
The ball then went into the hands of another boy, who mockingly imitated David’s awkward shot. As before, most of the boys laughed, but this time David was not laughing. He had come to be a part of his priests quorum but had become the brunt of their laughter.
David turned to the exit and walked out.
My heart broke for David. I was not sure what to do, but I knew I needed to try anything to get him to stay. I followed David out the door, trying to think of something to say that might help him have the courage to come back.
As I was walking after David, I was surprised to see Dennis, one of the other priests, run past me and put his arm around David. I do not know what he said, but Dennis must have been inspired, for David’s heart was softened and he hesitantly, but willingly, turned around and came back into the church. It was a wonderful moment.
It was only a few weeks later when a similar situation occurred. Some of our ward members, including many of our young men, were practicing for an upcoming theatrical performance. Todd, a priest, was one of the performers. During a rehearsal, someone mockingly mimicked Todd’s performance. He was offended and started walking toward the door dejectedly.
“Oh, no,” I thought, “here we go again.” I felt compelled to follow him outside and encourage him to ignore the offense and come back.
What happened next was a beautiful surprise.
This time it was not Dennis who hurried past me, but David. David, who only a few weeks earlier had been the dejected one, was now the inspired one. He ran up to Todd and, putting his arm around him, pleaded with him to return. Todd accepted the invitation, and within minutes both boys were standing side by side on the stage. David had now successfully convinced another to stay.
As I witnessed this example of the Aaronic Priesthood in action, I was reminded of a statement by Elder Neal A. Maxwell (1926–2004) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “We are so busy checking on our own temperatures, we do not notice the burning fevers of others even when we can offer them some of the needed remedies, such as encouragement, kindness, and commendation. The hands which hang down and most need to be lifted up belong to those too discouraged even to reach out anymore” (“Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 23).
David’s hands had been ones that hung down. From the selfless act of one young man to another, David’s hands then became those that lifted up.

Working as an errand boy in his father’s advertising business, Elder Nelson says that he learned to appreciate both the value of work and the people he met. His father had built his advertising business with the hope that his sons would join him. When Elder Nelson decided to become a doctor, his father may have been “somewhat disappointed.”
Elder Nelson had found that he had “a flair for the exact sciences—mathematics, chemistry, and physics. I did well in those subjects, and I reasoned that through medicine I could couple the exact sciences with my desire to serve other people. When my father learned of my plans, he was very supportive and said, ‘Well, if you want to do it, be the best.’”

Suppose that some day in the future, you find yourself living in a place where some people have become antagonistic toward you because of your religion. You are constantly being dragged into court on trumped-up charges and frivolous law suits and ridiculed and slandered in the local media, and you have real reason to believe that your life is in danger. Suppose, too, that you have a significant amount of property in your name, and from doing business and defending yourself in the courts, you have acquired a lot of debt. You must leave, but if you just slip away without dealing with your obligations, you know it would be wrong and it would provide even more ammunition for those who are attacking the Church. So you must select someone who can serve as an agent to legally represent you in resolving your affairs. Whom would you choose? How would you make that decision?

Now suppose, on the other hand, that you were the person chosen as the agent to resolve all these issues for someone else. How would you feel? What would you do? Would you even accept? Why?

This was actually the situation when Joseph Smith was forced to leave Kirtland, Ohio in 1838 and Oliver Granger was appointed by revelation to be his agent. Oliver worked at this almost impossible assignment so well that John W. Hawden (one of his creditors, who was not a member of the Church) wrote the following:

"[T]he closing up of my business with said society has been with their agent, Colonel Granger, appointed by them for that purpose; and I consider it highly due Colonel Granger from me, here to state that he has acted truly and honestly in all his business with me, and has accomplished more than I could reasonably have expected."[1]

Now you and I don't hear much today about Oliver Granger, but in addition to the fact that his name has been memorialized in the Doctrine and Covenants, we know that by the time he joined the Church in 1830 he had lost most of his eyesight "due to extreme cold." However, he had still been able to perform his duties as a sheriff in New York and to serve as a colonel in the New York militia and a licensed exhorter in the Methodist church before he was converted through a very direct witness of the Book of Mormon. Whatever mortal weaknesses Oliver may have had, from all indication he was very faithful and effective as an agent for Joseph and the First Presidency of the Church.

God places great value on being a trusted agent. Consider the words the Lord used to describe Brother Granger as he faced this seemingly impossible task.

"And again, I say unto you, I remember my servant Oliver Granger; behold, verily I say unto him that his name shall be had in sacred remembrance from generation to generation, forever and ever, saith the Lord.

"Therefore, let him contend earnestly for the redemption of the First Presidency of my Church, saith the Lord; and when he falls he shall rise again, for his sacrifice shall be more sacred unto me than his increase, saith the Lord."[2]

In these verses, the "redemption of the First Presidency" means the resolution of their financial obligations. "When he falls he shall rise again" implies that Oliver would have some failures; yet if he would not give up and would keep trying, his faithful effort would be recognized by the Lord as more sacred than his success, for as the Lord said, "his sacrifice shall be more sacred unto me than his increase."

How would you like to live so that our Father in Heaven would say of you what he said of Oliver Granger? Oliver Granger was an "agent"--an agent of the Lord and His Church.

My generation was not immune either from the effects of what I call Second-Coming fever. As young missionaries, some of us serving in the Italy Milan Mission speculated that 1974 would be a critical year—and possibly the very year of the Second Coming. We were highly imaginative as we wove together a tapestry of various bits of data, including the facts that the April annual general conference that year was to be the 144th annual conference of the Church and President Spencer W. Kimball, the twelfth president of the Church, would be sustained as prophet, seer, and revelator in a special solemn assembly to be held on April 6. What better day than this, a day filled with historical tradition and scripturally significant numbers such as 12 and 144, for the Lord to return to earth to begin His millennial reign? You may laugh, but we took our wild speculation very seriously. Of course that historic and spiritually uplifting conference has come and gone, and we are still here. (See CR, April 1974, or Ensign, May 1974.)

Even today I encounter scores of people who believe they will witness the Second Coming in their lifetime. For my part, I am now somewhat reserved and wiser. I teach my students these guiding principles: prepare a will, buy life insurance, put funds away in a retirement program, and, if they really want to be nice to their family, purchase a pre-need funeral program that includes a cemetery plot! For many of my students, this last bit of advice is a little morbid, but it makes my point. Live today as if you will meet Jesus this evening, but plan your life as though you will live to be 100 years old.

When our twin sons were about five years old, they were just learning to ride their bicycles. As I glanced out the window, I saw them speeding down the sidewalk on their bikes. They were going a little too fast, and all of a sudden Adam had a terrible crash! He was tangled in the wreck, and all I could see was twisted handlebars and tires and arms and legs. His twin, Aaron, saw the whole thing happen, and immediately he skidded to a stop and jumped off his bike. He threw it down and ran to help Adam, whom he loved very much.
These little twins truly were of one heart, so it was painful for Aaron to see Adam crash! Adam had skinned knees, he was bleeding from a head wound, his pride was damaged, and he was crying.
In a fairly gentle, five-year-old way, Aaron helped his brother get untangled from the crash. Aaron checked out Adam’s wounds, and then he did the dearest thing—he picked his brother up and carried him home! Or he tried to. It was not easy because they were the same size, but he tried. He struggled and lifted and half-dragged, half-carried his brother along until they finally reached the front porch. By this time, Adam, the injured one, was no longer crying, but Aaron, the rescuer, was. When asked, “Why are you crying, Aaron?” he said, “Because Adam hurts.”

Listen to general conference. Once, just before general conference, I was feeling discouraged and prayed to know if anyone understood my situation. That very conference, Elder David S. Baxter of the Seventy said: “There are, of course, some single families where it is the father who is the single parent. Brethren, we also pray for you and pay tribute to you.”3 That helped me understand that the same love and support given to single mothers is available to single fathers too.

One evening while I was serving as a stake president, I received a telephone call from an angry member of the Church who had just finished talking with his bishop. This brother attended church sporadically and had not paid his tithing in many years. Earlier the same evening this man had walked into the bishop’s office, rather matter-of-factly written out a check for his tithing, and then indicated that he wanted to obtain a temple recommend. One of this man’s children was to be married in the temple soon, and he wanted to attend the wedding. As the bishop and the man had counseled together, it was clear the man believed that simply paying the money was all that was necessary to obtain a temple recommend. This wise bishop had commended this brother for starting to pay his tithing; the bishop also told the man that they would talk about worthiness to worship in the temple when the man understood and had repented for the sin of disobedience. The man was not pleased with this counsel from the bishop. The man had said to his bishop, “I wrote out the check. What more do you want?” The bishop responded, “My dear brother, writing a check is not repentance. You must recognize and repent of your sin and change your heart. The Lord requires your heart.” Following his conversation with the bishop, the man called me to complain about the treatment he had received from the bishop. The man was even less pleased with my response. I told him, “Your bishop has counseled you correctly. I advise you to heed his counsel and truly repent.”