Gospel Story Finder

Growing up, I saw many examples of meaningful relationships between married women and their mothers-in-law. I saw mothers-in-law who showed up at difficult times to ease their daughter-in-law’s burdens. I saw women acting as if they were lifelong family members. And I looked forward to having a relationship like that in my own life.
So when I did get married, I was surprised by how much harder it was to get along with my husband’s parents than I expected. I felt hopeless for any chance of a positive relationship with my in-laws. But as time has gone on, I’ve learned that it is still possible to cultivate a good relationship with my in-laws—I just needed to change my perspective and expectations.
My husband’s parents and I have very opposite personalities. And as a young adult trying to adjust to married life, work at a difficult job, and handle college classes, I craved validation. I yearned for encouragement. But what I got from my in-laws—especially my mother-in-law—was criticism.
Their family frequently pointed out each other’s perceived faults. To them it was normal, but it tore me apart when I was the target, especially when it came from my husband’s mother.
I did everything I could to impress her, but it never seemed to be enough. So I oscillated between trying to earn my in-laws’ approval and trying to distance myself from them altogether. As a result, I didn’t want my husband to tell them much about our lives.
Even while distancing myself, however, I still found that criticism seeped into my life. Without realizing it, I accepted the negative messages I was receiving and compounded them with my own. I constantly told myself that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, thin enough—anything enough. This vicious cycle would have existed even without my in-laws, but all our interactions seemed to fuel the fire.
My husband could tell that I often felt hurt or angry by his parents’ words and behavior. He tried his best to balance his love for his parents and his love for me, but it was a difficult and sometimes sore spot in our relationship.
One day, as I was feeling only a shadow of hope, I decided to pray for my in-laws and our unhappy dynamic. And then the realization hit me hard: I would never have the relationship with my mother-in-law that I’d always wanted. I felt sorrow for a moment, but the Spirit came quickly with this gentle thought: “But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a good relationship.”
Honestly, it had never entered my head that our relationship could be different from what I’d pictured and still be a positive one.
I’d also never thought that my expectations were part of the problem. I’d wanted my mother-in-law to fit my vision of who she should be, but it wasn’t fair to only accept her if she fulfilled my expectations.
How freeing it was to let go of the expectations I had for my mother-in-law and still believe a better relationship could develop, especially as I relied on the Savior.
As I gave the Savior my feelings of inadequacy and the pain of unmet expectations, I experienced what Sister Michelle D. Craig, First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, once described: “Jesus’s miracles often begin with a recognition of want, need, failure, or inadequacy. … [The disciples] gave what they had to Jesus, and then He provided the miracle.”1
I’ve learned that I can focus on my mother-in-law’s strengths, and Christ can help me see her as He does. I have come to appreciate that she is a grandma who cares about her grandkids, that she serves faithfully in her callings, and that she loves the temple—all things I missed when I saw only her disapproval and hurtful words. I can strive to focus on these positive points and find common ground.
And instead of walking the same mental path and beating myself up over and over again, I can stop accepting judgments and unfair expectations from others and repent of shortcomings when I need to.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles reminded us that “we should not demean or vilify ourselves, as if beating up on ourselves is somehow going to make us the person God wants us to become.” Instead, we should remember that “the grace of Christ offers … salvation from our own persistent self-criticism.”2
When I work on feeling more peace within myself, it gives me a greater capacity to contribute to my relationship with my mother-in-law, including sending her pictures of her grandkids and acknowledging holidays and her birthday in fun ways.
My experience with my mother-in-law is just one piece of me realizing that I need to be at peace with who I am and not let others define me. I can depend on the Lord to heal my imperfections, because “his grace [is] sufficient for [me],” and by his grace I “may be perfect in Christ” (Moroni 10:32).
I hold on to the promise I felt from the Spirit that the Savior can help me continue to grow and that I can continually build a loving relationship with my in-laws by recognizing their personal goodness and enjoying our common ground without molding them to my ideal or trying to fit theirs.
I feel the promise also applies to the relationship I have with myself. When I am kinder to myself and focus on my divine identity (as well as everyone else’s) as a child of Heavenly Father, it positively affects how I interact with others, and vice versa. I can progress when I recognize the power of my Savior to help me overcome my imperfections and to help others do the same.

Here in the Lynn Branch, helping out means a whole lot of fellowshipping, the kind that brought Ngan Sout into the waters of baptism after four years of on-and-off attendance and missionary lessons. Once, she was going to be baptized, but some of her school friends started telling her how bad the Mormons were. “I was confused,” she says, “so I backed out again for a year.”
That’s when her friend Chenda Hak stepped in. Chenda kept inviting Ngan to church and to the activities. Finally Ngan said, “Just for you, I will go.”
This time, Ngan was ready. She was baptized. And now when friends question her decision, she says, “I’m happy now. I wish this had happened a long time ago, you know? Because I would have been happy all along.”

Several weeks after we broke up, I returned to school late one spring afternoon. I searched through the mess in my locker and soon found what I was looking for. The little black paperback was slightly dog-eared but still readable. Maybe it would answer some of my questions. I glanced around to make sure no one saw me carrying an LDS book, tucked it inside my jacket, and went home.
When I got home I hurried upstairs with my secret bundle and hid it in my desk drawer. I knew my parents wouldn’t approve of me reading Mormon “propaganda.”
Two weeks passed before I had a chance to be alone with the book. When I had the opportunity, I took the book out of my desk, stretched out on my bed, and started to read.
I opened the book, A Marvelous Work and a Wonder, and skimmed its pages. A section about the Joseph Smith story caught my eye, so I read it carefully. As I read the story of Joseph Smith’s vision, I knew that it was true. I also knew that if his story was true, then the church he founded must also be true.
A little later I agreed to take the missionary discussions, and I rapidly gained a testimony of the principles of the gospel. After the discussions, I knew that I should join the Church, and after much fasting, praying, and soul searching, I was baptized. Liz was there. She cried.
A little more than a year after I was baptized, Liz and I again visited the temple, this time to be married for time and all eternity. That was 13 years ago. Today, and every day, as I watch our family blossom and grow, I’m grateful for the strong testimony of that cute little Mormon girl. I’m thankful that she was courageous enough to refuse to compromise on an issue that meant eternal happiness for her, and eventually, for me too.

The Accra Ghana Temple is the most beautiful building in Ghana. We were excited about the open house knowing that many would come. We knew that those who came would be impressed with the beauty of the building and the well-manicured grounds; we prayed they would also feel the spirit of the temple. We invited the president of Ghana, President John Kufor, for a private tour of the temple. He is not a member of our faith, but had good feelings toward the Church. He wanted to keep his visit as low-key as possible and indicated that he could spend 15 minutes in the temple.

As we escorted him through the various rooms we knew our prayers had been answered. He was not only impressed with the beauty of the temple, but he also felt the Spirit. He remained asking questions and making comments for nearly an hour. As we walked out of the temple we realized that his visit had not been kept a secret. The temple steps were filled with the media with their cameras and microphones, all wanting to get the president's impression of the building. One of the reporters asked President Kufor what he thought of the Mormon temple. President Kufor commented on its beauty and then stated, "This temple will raise the spiritual level of our entire nation."

The final awareness activity of the conference was a bit of a shock to most of the youth. As they were seated for a beautiful, all-you-can-eat brunch, blindfolds and ropes were distributed. The teens were divided into partners to help each other: one was blindfolded, the other had his “good” arm tied to his side. They were then invited to go to the buffet and help themselves.
This experience and the discussion on blindness helped Laura Lemke of the White Oak Ward a few days later when she encountered a blind man who appeared lost at the subway station. Without hesitation, she went up to him and offered assistance. Rather than grab him, she offered her elbow to him, and led him to the fare card machine.

I once met a young sailor who was a member of the crew of an atomic submarine based in Scotland. He was the only member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the crew. The submarine would go on extended cruises encompassing many weeks. As this young Church member was assigned to his station on his first cruise, he found that other crewmen had plastered the walls in his area with suggestive pictures of scantily clad women. This offended him. He took all the pictures down and destroyed them. He was conscious of the probable reaction of the other men but, nevertheless, had the courage to do what he thought he should. Not one picture was put up again. As a matter of fact, on that first cruise, he began to teach a Sunday School class attended by two or three of the other men. He learned an important lesson—generally speaking, others will show respect for one who has the courage of his or her convictions and isn’t afraid to do what he feels is right.

As a child I struggled and felt shame for years before deciding to tell someone that I had been abused. When I was 13, I felt an impression that it was time to talk about it. After a service activity at Mutual, I went to a trusted leader, who spoke with me tenderly and took me to see the bishop the same evening. I was relieved by the bishop’s warm countenance as he invited me into his office. I remember feeling the weight of years of secrets lift as my bishop listened. I recall his pure tears as he heard my story. I felt the love of Heavenly Father, and I felt reassured that the abuse was not my fault and that I was still pure and virtuous. This was the beginning of my path to healing, a path that would continue for many years.

I learned from my wife the importance of exchanging notes. Early in our marriage I would open my scriptures to give a message and I would see an affectionate, supportive note slipped into the pages. Sometimes they were so tender that I could hardly talk. Those precious notes from a loving wife were and are a priceless treasure of comfort.

I began to do the same thing with her, not realizing how much they truly meant to her. When she passed away, I found in her private things how much she appreciated the simple messages we shared with each other. I found that she not only kept the notes, but she protected them with plastic coverings as if they were a valuable treasure. There is only one that she didn’t put with the others. It is still behind the glass of our kitchen clock. It reads, “Jeanene, it is time to tell you I love you.” It remains there to remind me constantly of that exceptional daughter of Father in Heaven.

In her final days of illness, I tried to find supporting scriptures that would help her. I put printed copies of them around the house. I found each one of those messages carefully protected as if they were very valuable. In like manner, I have kept the precious notes she has given me.

The Price of Mortality
Mormon doctrine also provides a unique ?perspective on the purpose of mortality, human suffering, and what is sometimes called “the problem of evil” by theologians: How is it that an all-powerful and all-loving God can permit so much evil and suffering in the world?

Let me share a story with you about the ?powerful and attractive answer that Latter-day Saint doctrine provides to this question.

My wife, Deirdre, and I were a two-tuition family at Yale, which is to say that it was not inexpensive. She completed her MBA on the same day I finished my law degree. In fact, we missed each other’s college convocations because they were held at the same time. Then we moved to Washington, DC, where Deirdre was working for Paul Mellon and his private art collection and I was clerking for a judge on the DC Circuit Court of Appeals.

My calling in our ward was Cub Scout leader, and there were two young brothers in my Webelos group. That summer their family was in a terrible car accident. One of the brothers was in critical condition for weeks, and I visited him in the hospital, where he was wrapped nearly head to toe in bandages. This was the early 1990s, when AIDS was not well understood, and this young boy contracted the HIV virus from a blood transfusion. It took many months, but he eventually recovered from most of his injuries, yet at that time being infected with the HIV virus was akin to a death sentence.

He was asked to speak in Church about what he had learned from his experience. Although he was only twelve, he gave what I think is the most profound and insightful address on the problem of evil that I have ever heard. He said:

Some people have asked me what I did wrong to deserve what happened to me. I’m not perfect, but I’m a good boy, and I know this is not something I deserved.

Others have said, “You must be a really strong person for God to give you such a difficult trial.”

I don’t feel strong, and anyway, I don’t believe God did this as a reward for my being particularly righteous.

No, I don’t think this happened because I’m particularly bad or particularly good. I believe it happened because I’m mortal, and this is part of the price of mortality. We come to earth, we exercise our agency, and other people exercise theirs, and sometimes we hurt each other, and sometimes accidents happen.

Think about that—“the price of mortality.”

Darren and Stacey sold everything to chase his dream job of animating for a movie studio in London, England. But when they found out they were expecting a baby after years of trying, they realized they couldn’t afford to live there on just his income.
Christina Smith, photographer
Stacey: We started talking about moving back to Australia. In Brisbane there were no movie studios. Darren would have to essentially give up his career.
Darren: We were moving into darkness. We didn’t know what was ahead of us.
Stacey: When I was five months pregnant, I was given a last-minute assignment to speak in sacrament meeting. The topic was on having faith in Jesus Christ through trials. Up until that point, we still hadn’t decided on a name for our daughter. As I was preparing for the talk, I read through the Bible Dictionary and Topical Guide under “Faith.” I kept seeing the word faith, faith, faith, and I just 100 percent knew what to name our daughter. I looked at Darren and said, “Faith. That’s going to be her name. That’s what I want to name our daughter.”
Darren: We both felt really great about the name Faith. It seemed to encapsulate every experience we were going through.
Stacey: We had to have so much faith to give up Darren’s career, move back to nothing again, and start over with no job prospects.
Darren: We had to just move forward in faith and believe that everything would work out. We came back home and I took a teaching job in a related field at a university. Then I injured my back and had to pull out of the teaching job.
Stacey: We moved in with my parents. We had no money and no car.
Darren: I felt like I was at rock bottom. My wife was pregnant, but I had no job and we couldn’t afford a place of our own.
Stacey: There was a moment in the lounge room at my parents’ house when we knelt down and prayed.
Darren: We didn’t just pray, we pleaded for help to get through this and get back on our feet.
Stacey: It was probably the strongest prayer we’ve ever said together. The next day, my grandmother called and said she was buying a new car and wanted to give us her old car.
Darren: That just blew us away.
Stacey: We felt it was a direct answer to our prayer.
Darren: Then we heard there was a new studio opening in Brisbane. I got some contract work in animation.
Stacey: We didn’t think he’d be animating in Brisbane!
Darren: And my brother randomly came around with some baby toys.
Stacey: We were given so many things for our daughter from friends and family.
Then Faith was born and—I don’t even know how to describe it—she’s the best thing that ever happened. Now she’s over two, and we’ve moved to Sydney. Darren is still animating for movies, which we didn’t think would happen. We definitely feel blessed. Our faith has led us here.
Darren: We can definitely see the hand of God in our lives. I hope our little baby, Faith, absorbed some of our faith as we went through our trials. She is such a ray of hope and faith and delight!
Stacey: We’ve learned that no matter what we’re going through, the most important thing we can have is faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Whenever we have turned to Jesus Christ and had faith in Him, everything seems manageable. There is peace and happiness in following Jesus Christ and doing the right thing. The gospel has everything. It allows us to be happy in this life. I am really happy and I know it is because I’ve turned to the Lord, relied on the gospel, and had faith.
Darren: I’ve learned that God gives us commandments and laws to make our lives happier because He can see the bigger picture. When we can’t see what’s ahead of us, we need to rely on Him, keep His commandments, and go to Him in prayer. He will direct us through our trials and help us make our lives better.
Darren and Stacey Rea enjoy spending time with their daughter, Faith, on a beach near their home. Before Faith was born, the Reas faced several serious challenges. Not knowing what to do, Darren said, “We were moving into darkness. We didn’t know what was ahead of us.”
Faced with an uncertain future, Darren and Stacey found that their faith in Jesus Christ helped them through their challenges. “There is peace and happiness in following Jesus Christ and doing the right thing,” Stacey says.
The Reas are grateful for the spirit they enjoy in their home. “The gospel has everything,” Stacey says. “It allows us to be happy in this life.”
Faith is a reminder to Darren and Stacey of all the blessings they have received. “She is such a ray of hope and faith and delight!” Darren says.

A story from my own family history illustrates this principle. My great-grandfather Joseph Watson Maynes was born in 1856 in Hull, Yorkshire, England. His family joined the Church in England and then made their way to Salt Lake City. He married Emily Keep in 1883, and they became the parents of eight children. Joseph was called to serve a full-time mission in June of 1910, when he was 53 years old. With the support of his wife and eight children, he returned to his native England to serve his mission.

After serving faithfully for approximately two years, he was riding his bicycle along with his companion to Sunday School services in Gloucester, England, when his tire burst. He got off his bicycle to assess the damage. When he saw that it was serious and would take a while to fix, he told his companion to go ahead and begin the Sunday service and he would be there shortly. Just as he finished saying this, he collapsed to the ground. He had died suddenly of a heart attack.

Joseph Watson Maynes never saw his wife and eight children again in this life. They were able to transport his body back to Salt Lake City and have his funeral service at the old Waterloo Assembly Hall. A statement made at his funeral service by Elder Anthony W. Ivins of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles teaches us an important lesson about life, death, and endurance: “This is what the gospel gives us—not immunity from death, but victory over it through the hope we have in a glorious resurrection. … It applies to [Joseph Maynes]. … It is a pleasure, and it is a satisfaction and joy to know that men lay down their lives in righteousness, in the faith, true to the faith.”4

This family story inspires me to try my very best to follow the example of endurance and spiritual stamina illustrated by my great-grandfather. I am equally inspired by the faith of his wife, Emily, whose life after Joseph’s death was certainly a heavy burden to bear. Her testimony was strong and her conversion complete as she spent the rest of her life true to the faith while supporting her eight children on her own.

The following story is about kindness. I felt inspired to ask a few former students about their experiences at BYU–Hawaii. I am very thankful to Cooper Johnson for providing me with a lot of information about his experience here, and I am focusing on just a small part of his story to emphasize the kindness that he experienced as a student. These are his words: “The teachers, students, staff, and community members all seemed to care about my well-being, even if we had never met before. People I didn’t know smiled and waved as I walked across campus. I learned that being kind to others was a way of life. I felt a built-in support network from the moment I got there.” Later on, in his message to me, he said, “Several months after I got to Hawaii, I felt a legitimate need to get a car. I prayed for help finding an affordable car in decent condition. I promised the Lord that I would show kindness and help others if I could have my needs met. The Lord blessed me. A friend of mine helped me find a car salesman that sold me a car in great condition and a very low price. In turn, I kept my promise while I was on the island. I picked up people walking in the rain, regularly gave people rides, helped people get to doctor’s appointments, and was the friend known for helping people go shopping on the other side of the island.” Cooper also mentioned how he was blessed through this experience. I appreciate this story for its simplicity and for how similar it is to the things that people do here every day.

One day my best friend and I were walking around at recess. We saw a girl from our ward sitting up against the fence with a frown on her face. My friend said we should go talk to her. So we walked over and asked why she was so sad. She said her friends told her that she couldn’t play with them. We asked if she wanted to play with us, and she said that she did. A smile was on her face.
We had a lot of fun that recess and played with her every day. Before we played with her, we hadn’t known that she was so fun. I felt good inside to play with someone who had looked sad.
A few days later, my mom and I rode our bikes to the park. We saw my new friend there too. She and I played on the playground while our moms talked.
After we left, my mom told me what her mom had said. The girl’s friends had been mean to her over the last few days. She and her mom had been praying that she would find some friends, and my friend and I were the answer to her prayers. I felt warm inside and was happy that I had played with her.

Another way to learn about leadership is to choose good friends. “The best way to learn to be a good leader is to make sure you’re following the right crowd. Then you can step up and be a good leader, listen to them, and invite people to activities,” says Brad Smidt, 17, of the First Ward, Coeur d’Alene Stake. Kiyana Dickson, 18, of the Cheney First Ward, Spokane West Stake, remembers a successful activity in her stake where this principle was illustrated. “One of the best activities we had was a summer social when a lot of inactive and nonmember friends came because other people invited them to have fun with us. Now I talk to those kids all the time, and they smile more often. They go to activities and know how much fun they are.”

When I joined the Church at age nine, I already believed that the Church was true, so I thought it was unnecessary to ask God if it is true. After being a member for several years, I began to doubt. Then during a sacrament meeting, as I listened to the hymn “Joseph Smith’s First Prayer” (Hymns, no. 26), I prayed and asked Heavenly Father if the Church is true and if Joseph Smith had really seen Him and Jesus Christ. The thought came to my mind that yes, the Church of Jesus Christ is true, and yes, Joseph saw God the Father and Jesus Christ. My eyes filled with tears, and I felt the Holy Ghost burn in my heart.
Today I can affirm that the Holy Ghost testified to me of the truthfulness of this Church. I know that Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and I cannot deny it. This testimony gave me the courage to share my testimony with others.

“My father was killed when I was four years old. He went to help a young woman who was being assaulted by two men, and he was fatally stabbed. I missed my dad so much that I always had this hurt inside me. But when I was thirteen years old, I met the Latter-day Saint missionaries and that hurt was healed when I discovered the love of a Father I could talk to, a Father who would listen to me, a Father who would comfort me. And through the plan of salvation, I learned that I could meet my dad again some day.”
As a young teenager, Sister Ruchirawan Phonphongrat of Bangkok, Thailand, came into contact with the missionaries when she attended an English language class they offered. Following her first class, she was invited to attend a Mutual activity. “After an enjoyable evening, one of the members offered a prayer. As he prayed, I had the feeling that Someone was listening. I had a warm feeling inside, as though I were being hugged. It was that prayer and the accompanying feeling that began to heal the hurt of missing my dad. I decided that I wanted to be able to pray, to have this feeling often. So I asked the missionaries if it would be possible for me to learn the gospel and learn how to pray.
“They gave me the discussions over the next two months, and then I was baptized. I remember that when they taught me how to pray I was so excited that I would be able to pray by myself. I went to my room that night, closed the door, and prayed to Heavenly Father to know if what the missionaries had told me was true. Heavenly Father did hear me, and that’s when I found out that he does care for me. I was so very, very happy. Early next morning, on my way to school, I stopped by the apartment building where the missionaries lived on the top floor. I shouted up to their apartment window, ‘Elders! I know there is a Jesus. I know that Heavenly Father lives!’
“I told my mother that I had found a way I could meet my dad again and that we could be together again as a family some day. My mom really loved my dad, and she had never remarried. She knew that I always aimed for the best, in school or in whatever I did. Although she was an active Buddhist, she knew that the Church would be the best for me, too.”

One evening, I met with my boss to discuss my situation and the goal I wanted to achieve (i.e. serving a full-time mission). After listening to me, he set a condition: If I would forgo my dream and stay with him, he would do everything for me. I knew he could do that. He had good intentions when he set this condition. He was very close to me, and I had become like a son to him. He trusted me more than some of his brothers. For me, the Savior‘s call was the most important thing. I, therefore, declined the offer. He even sent people to plead with me, but it was all in vain because I was determined to serve a mission.

Finally, I went to Abidjan to apply for my passport, during the COVID-19 pandemic. Along the way, we had to get off the bus and walk for miles to cross certain areas. We even had to walk through the forest during the trip.
There were all sorts of issues with getting a passport, but by God’s grace, I got mine.
After about a year of working on my mission application, I gave it to my bishop to submit it to the stake president. To my utter surprise, my bishop lost the file containing my passport and medical records. This was a huge ordeal for me. That night, I got on my knees and cried my heart out, pleading with God to make it possible for us to find the file. After my prayer, I told Heavenly Father that if we did not find the file, I would work on another application no matter how long it would take.
A few weeks later, a miracle happened: my file was found at the premises of my stake president’s company. The security guard had been keeping the file all this while since he did not know the owner.
This experience strengthened my faith in Christ, that He is mighty to save.
After receiving the file, we gave it to my stake president to fill it out and submit online. However, the file was not submitted online for nearly two months, and it was at this point that I felt like giving up. When I told my girlfriend that I wanted to give up, she replied with a statement that I had made at the beginning of our relationship, that nothing and no one could stop me from serving a full-time mission. I regained hope, called my stake president, and followed up with strict monitoring. When the application was submitted, I quit my job to better prepare for my mission. At one point, I ran out of food and was supported by my girlfriend.
Finally, my call came. I was called to serve in the Côte d’Ivoire Abidjan West Mission with President and Sister Lewis. I was so happy I had attained my goal. I had to go to the training center in Ghana, but due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I had to undergo my training online. There again, I paid for an internet bundle out of pocket until I ran out of money. A few days later I informed my trainer that I would have to stop taking the course for lack of money. Surprised by what he had just learned, he sent a message to my stake president, and the problem was resolved. I then proceeded with my training as planned.
I experienced adversity from the beginning of my preparation till the end. I am grateful for having kept the faith and for the hand of God that supported me during those trying times.
After my mission, I married that young girl who stood by me through it all. We now have a child who makes us so happy. I testify that as much as we shall put our trust in God even so much we shall be delivered out of our trials, and our troubles, and our afflictions, and we shall be lifted up at the last day. (See Alma 38:5.)

When I was 10 years old, my family moved from Denmark to Canada. We had lived there only a little while when two sisters who lived across the street from our new home invited me and my 12-year-old brother, Poul, to take a bus ride with them to see the city.
Poul and I were excited to go. My mother wasn’t sure about the idea, but she finally gave in. Mother gave the two girls the money for our bus ride. She asked them to look after us because my brother and I didn’t speak English yet. The girls promised they would take good care of us.
We all got on the bus and started the ride. After a while the bus stopped, and the girls motioned for us to get off. We followed them as we all started walking around the city.
Then suddenly the two girls started running in different directions! We tried to follow them, but they disappeared around unfamiliar corners. At first we thought they were just playing a trick on us and would soon come back. But after a while we knew we were lost and on our own.
“Should we ask someone for directions?” I asked Poul.
“We can’t speak English, and we don’t know our address,” he answered.
“Let’s call Mother,” I suggested, pointing to a nearby phone booth.
“We have no money, and we don’t know our phone number,” Poul said.
I started to cry. Poul put his arm around me. “Stay calm, Anne-Mette. Let’s say a prayer.”
We huddled together and asked Heavenly Father to help us find our way back home.
After the prayer Poul pointed down a street. “I feel we need to go this way,” he said.
I started to cry again. How could he know which way to go?
Poul comforted me again. “You need to have faith that we will be guided,” he said.
When he said that, a feeling of peace came over me. I had the thought that I needed to have faith and let my brother guide me.
After walking a long time, we came to a pond. “Do you remember this pond?” Poul asked. “We drove past it on our way from the airport to our new home!”
I felt better hearing the excitement in his voice. We sat down by the pond and said another prayer.
Suddenly Poul looked into the distance. “Do you see that?” he shouted. He got up and started running, and I jumped up to follow him.
“What do you see?” I called.
“It’s the Laundromat sign near our house!”
We followed the sign to our street, and soon we could see our mother standing outside the house. We ran to her and hugged her.
When we went inside, Mother said, “When I saw the two girls come home, I went over to ask where you were. Their mother was not very nice. She said we are foreigners and we should go back where we came from.”
Mother put her arms around us both. “I want you to know that not everyone here feels that way. We will meet many people who will welcome us and be our friends. Those girls left you alone today, but I’m glad you remembered that Heavenly Father will never leave you alone.”
Then we knelt down and thanked Heavenly Father for guiding us safely home.

One day my brothers got together to talk to me about what I was going through. I don’t really remember what they said, but I knew it was done out of love. As we talked, I started to realize what I was missing. It became the catalyst for change. It should have been me to ordain Kayson an elder. It should have been me to escort him through the temple. It should have been me to give him a father’s blessing before he left. Those most important events in his life were meant for me to be there, not someone else. I remember asking myself, “What am I doing?”

Shortly after, a good friend felt inspired to introduce me to a member of his stake presidency. This kind man listened intently to my story and seemed to know what I was going to say before I said it. We talked for hours. My story, my questions, the logic I had been exposed to were so similar to what others had shared with him. I began to realize that there were reasonable answers for many of my concerns and that many of my questions, while sincere, had been planted by people intent on damaging faith.

Were all my questions and concerns immediately resolved? No, of course not. But my heart was softened enough to realize a great truth: questions are good, but some questions are more important than others.1 Was losing my family and standing before God worth a few unanswered questions? When I focused first on the questions that were most important and put God back in first place in my heart, I began to find answers that reassured me that I was getting back on the right path.

My stake president and bishop also reached out to me. They were a great help to me and Cheri during some dark times. They never gave up. They and my family on both sides of the veil were instrumental in helping me. I know that Heavenly Father knows and loves us. He puts people in our path when we need them. We just need to be willing to accept their help.

I know there are others out there who may be going through something similar. It may be you or someone you know.

I know that the Savior established His Church with the authority to provide the ordinances and covenants we need to return to Him. Satan is working overtime to discredit the Lord’s Church using any means possible. Raising questions and creating doubts is easy. Falling into his traps can happen to anyone. Relying on the information and answers that others provide can be far easier than doing the work of discovering truth for ourselves “by study and also by faith” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:118; emphasis added). But ultimately, that’s what God requires.

If you are struggling with questions or doubts about the Church or your faith, you won’t find truth by reading blogs or listening to podcasts from those who disagree with the Church or have left it. But you also probably won’t be satisfied with shallow answers, and you might not like the suggestion to “put your questions on the shelf.”

I learned that we cannot always live on borrowed light, but instead we must turn to God who is the source of all light and truth (see Doctrine and Covenants 93:26). We must study it out in our own minds, but we must also ask God if what we are thinking is right (see Doctrine and Covenants 9:8). We must learn for ourselves, as Joseph Smith did (see Joseph Smith—History 1:20), and be patient in our searching (see Alma 32:41). But learning by faith means we must prove the truth by living it (see John 7:17; 1 Thessalonians 5:21).

When I was studying things antagonistic to the Church, I felt like I was literally in the mists of darkness (see 1 Nephi 8:23–24; 12:17). When I grabbed hold of God’s word and took that first step toward Him, that was all He needed to send His Spirit to touch my heart.

A few weeks after Kayson left on his mission, my stake president visited me. I caught him up on what had happened during those weeks after my brothers had talked with me. I said I would like to get a new temple recommend. He asked if I could answer the recommend questions properly. I confessed, “President, I don’t think I can say I know that the Church is true yet, but I sure hope with all my heart that it is. And I am going to live my life in accordance with that hope. Is that enough?”

He paused for a moment then said, “Travis, that will always be enough.”

There are some things I’m still waiting to understand, but some things have become very clear to me. I know that Heavenly Father loves me. I know that we might wander and struggle for a time. But I know that through Christ, His Atonement, and the hope it brings, it is possible to return to the path that leads back to Him.

The author lives in Utah, USA.

“Where are we going?” Mark asked flatly, uncomfortably perplexed. Transfers had just occurred that day, bringing the reluctant Elder Macklind to a new area with which he was wholly unfamiliar, and pairing his antiathletic body with jog-happy Elder Hilversum. Mark felt very unsettled, and yet Elder Hilversum didn’t seem to notice. He just serenely breezed through the day as if nothing was new, which Mark found somewhat depressing; it’s tough to be gloomy without company, and this cheerful Hilversum guy just wasn’t cooperating. Mark frowned at the ground. His mind was still in Cedar Court, on the Caufields.
Mr. Caufield had grinned so widely, too, after accepting the baptismal challenge. His wife had cried and hugged Mark tightly as he left; he told her she would look so pretty in white. And she would have, too, if they had only tried harder. Mark winced at the memory. All the plans, filling the font, so much excitement, smiling all day, and then finding their note instead of them: “We just do not want to be baptized after all.” Mark shut his eyes tight.
Sometimes Mark wondered why he had come on a mission at all. Just like this stupid run, it often seemed like a lot of effort for no good purpose. He just got sore legs and an aching heart that beat too hard as if it were going to explode out of his chest. And he went back three times, but he never saw the Caufields again before the transfer. Maybe never again, period. Mark contorted his eyebrows into a knot, and tiny trickles of water fell down his face. He gritted his teeth. Why does he keep running?
The jog had become rudely taxing. Mark began to punctuate each plop of his heels with a gutterul groan, partly out of exhaustion and partly in an effort to complain: “Ugh!”—step—“Ugh!”—step—“Ugh!” His seeping energy was beginning to upset him. He could feel anger well up deep inside and churn up toward his head, as if his feet were pumping it farther with every plod. What’s the point in trying anyway? There was so much to be angry about. Mark wanted to give in to it.
They came to a crosswalk, and Elder Hilversum was jogging in place waiting for the light to change when Mark caught up to him. “Is anyone watching us?” Mark huffed to his companion, the pogo stick.
Elder Hilversum grinned again, glancing from side to side, “Nope.”
“Good!” Mark blurted, and promptly fell to the ground in a lifeless sprawl, moaning, “All over. All over. Any time now.”
Anxiously, Elder Hilversum reached for his land-grabbing companion. “Get up, Elder Macklind, get up! Are you all right?”
“Dying. Dying,” Mark lamented from among the grass blades and dirt.
“No, you’re not dying,” Elder Hilversum retorted impatiently, pulling at Mark’s arm. “But you’ll cramp up if you lie there much longer.”
Mark slowly stood again, leaning on Elder Hilversum with dedicated weariness. “Aren’t we done yet?” he wailed.
“Press forward, Elder Macklind,” Elder Hilversum advised, his patience returning with his place-running. “Have a perfect brightness of hope.”
“I’m beyond hope,” Mark murmured. “I’m well into despair.”
The pair jaunted on, Elder Hilversum slowing his pace to stay beside Elder Macklind. Mark wanted to cry. So hard. Thud, lift, thud, lift, thud.
Elder Hilversum began to gasp out a hymn, managing five words at a breath: “Let us all press on … in the work of the … Lord that when life is … o’er we may gain a …”
Mark couldn’t join in, because he wanted to scream. How could he act happy under these conditions? Another thud, lift, thud, lift, thud, lift … every day like this? And Elder Hilversum plowing ahead in breathy song with his permanent smile, like a marathon minstrel harboring a secret pleasure. Mark stared at him with aching eyes, torn between sincere anguish and raging rebellion.
“Elder Hilversum,” Mark called, turning the warbler’s sweaty head in mid-chorus, seeing the grin melt to concern, “how can you go like this every day, running on?”
Two hard plods. “This is silly,” Mark panted, unfinished. “I’m killing myself on this road; I really am. But you just keep going. Why, elder? Why?” And then, after a thud, “How?”
Elder Hilversum furrowed his wet, hot brow. “I don’t know, Elder Macklind,” he said, still tramping on. “I just keep reminding myself that the feeling of accomplishment will always be worth the temporary pain of effort.”
They stepped up to a curb, in lock-jog.
“You make it sound like spiritual persecution,” Mark muttered.
The senior companion grinned. “Do I?” he asked and laughed. Then he stretched the stride.
That grin was ingratiating. But the memory of the Caufields demanded his depression, and so Mark moaned. “I can’t imagine anything being worth this pain!”
“Don’t dwell on how much it hurts, Elder Macklind.”
“Everything hurts.”
“Just keep moving. Don’t worry about how fast you’re going, just keep going, and give it all you’ve got. I’ll run with you.”
Mark nodded, swallowing. “I know.”
“Elder Macklind, do your best. Push yourself, and don’t stop at less. You’ve been doing your best. Don’t quit now because it’s getting more difficult. Give it all you’ve got, and that’s all you need to give. Elder Macklind, all you can do is all you can do.”
Mark watched the sidewalk disappear under his feet. “Yeah, okay,” he said, but wanted to say something better. Elder Hilversum ran beside him, and so Mark pushed a little harder. Elder Hilversum grinned. He was always doing that. And the house wasn’t too far now, anyway.
Mark wiped his face with his hand and threw the sweat behind him. He was beginning to understand a little better, and the day didn’t look so bad now. Running on, he reflected, “All we can do is all we can do,” and smiled a little. That made sense, he decided, and brought his head up to see the sun, thinking, “Maybe I’ll run again tomorrow.”